My Amazement Is Overflowing

(My brother-in-law often does things without worrying about repercussions. I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t care what happens; he just doesn’t think things through. I’ve wondered — with no disrespect — if he has an undiagnosed mental disorder. He is 26 at the time of this story. The toilet in our main bathroom has been acting funny — not refilling one time, then overflowing the next — so we have decided to use the half bathroom. Not a problem; it’s just the two of us. My brother-in-law comes over after work one day to play video games. During a break, he heads toward the main bathroom.)

Me: “Oh, wait! That toilet doesn’t work!”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, I just have to pee.”

Me: “It still doesn’t work.”

Brother-In-Law: “I just have to pee.”

Me: “You can’t use that toilet.”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh. That’s dumb.”

Husband: “[Brother], were you just… not going to flush?”

Brother-In-Law: “Well, no. I just didn’t know what she meant.”

(While he is in the working bathroom, my husband takes some duct tape and tapes the broken toilet shut, just in case. A few hours later, they take another bathroom break. Having just used the bathroom myself, I realize our guest is missing.)

Me: “Where is your brother?”

Husband: “Bathroom.”

Me: “I was just in there.”

(My husband runs up the stairs to the main bathroom just in time to see his brother come out. The toilet is nearly overflowing.)

Husband: “What are you doing? Move! Grab towels!”

Brother-In-Law: “I had to pee.”

Husband: “The toilet doesn’t work!”

Brother-In-Law: “Yeah, what’s going on with that?”

(My husband and his brother soak up the mess and come back downstairs.)

Me: “[Brother-In-Law], why did you use that bathroom?”

Brother-In-Law: “How was I supposed to know it was broken?”

Husband: “Besides us telling you earlier and taping the lid shut?”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh. I thought you did that because the lid wouldn’t stay down.”