Mothers-In-Law Can Be Taxing

I help my mother-in-law with her taxes every year. This year, we are looking for a specific paper but cannot find it. I know it looks like I’m staring into space, but I’m actually mentally retracing my steps to try to recall where and when I had the paper last. My mother-in-law is tearing apart everything she can get her hands on.

Mother-In-Law: “What are you doing?! Help me look!”

Me: “I’m thinking.” *Pauses* “We had it in the den when we did the state taxes, right?”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, so—”

Mother-In-Law: “Help me look!”

Me: “I’m thinking!”

Mother-In-Law: “You’re just standing there!”

I walk away, not interested in arguing. She follows me.

Mother-In-Law: “Seriously, you just walked away and thought I wouldn’t notice you’re not helping?”

Me: “Did you check the closet in your office?”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes. It’s not there.”

Me: “I thought I remembered putting it on the top shelf.” *Sigh* “I don’t know. I’ll—”

Mother-In-Law: *Raising her voice* “You need to stop f****** around and help me!”

Me: *Matching her tone* “Acting like an a** isn’t going to make it appear.”

Mother-In-Law: “Okay. You just sit here and be useless. That’s great.”

She leaves, slamming the door.

A moment later, I get up, go to her office, and open the closet door. There on the top shelf is the folder we’ve been looking for. It’s the only thing up there, so there’s no way she missed it unless she didn’t even look. I grab it and go back to her.

Me: “Here.”

I drop it on the floor in front of her.

Mother-In-Law: “Finally!”

Me: “It was in the top of your closet where you said you already looked.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh.” *Hesitates* “Well, now we—”

Me: “I’m done.”

Mother-In-Law: “Why?!”

Me: “You were a b**** while I was trying to help, you lied about where you searched, and just now, you couldn’t even apologize or thank me.”

I left and ignored her calls for several days. She ended up hiring a professional.