Make Sure No Tomatoes Are Squished, Or You Answer To Big Boss Sis

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2018

(A guest walks up to my lane with nothing but a produce bag filled as full as possible with tomatoes. My store is strange in that we sell produce by quantity, not weight.)

Me: “Hello! Do you happen to know how many tomatoes you have here?”

Customer: *shrugs* “Don’t speak good English.”

Me: “All right. One moment.”

(As I begin counting the tomatoes, the customer speaks to me in a combination of Russian and broken English. I can only make out one phrase repeated multiple times.)

Customer: “Sister big boss.”

Me: “So, twenty-one tomatoes. Your total is [price].”

(I soon found out he was a regular, always getting a bag filled to the brim with produce — usually tomatoes, but occasionally bananas — and always talking about his big boss sister.)

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