Macs-imum Menu Alterations

A customer is ordering in the drive-thru.

Customer: “Macaroni and cheese.”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not have that.”

Customer: “I can assure you that you do!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we definitely do not.”

Customer: *Angry* “Yes you do!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for five years. We have never had macaroni and cheese. It’s not something we serve. Would you like to order something else?”

Customer: “Yes, you f****** do! I can see it on the menu board! It’s right there right in front of me on the menu!”

Me: “I’m really not sure what you’re looking at, but we don’t have mac and cheese, and if it really does say mac and cheese on our menu board, then that means someone vandalized it.”

Customer: “No! It’s definitely part of the menu board, and it’s real, and you do have it, and I’m not leaving until I get my mac and cheese!”

She’s holding up the drive-thru line. I finally get the manager to come over because they don’t pay me NEARLY enough to deal with that for that long.

The woman absolutely REFUSES to accept that we don’t have mac and cheese. She also refuses to order anything else and won’t move her car until we give her the mac and cheese that we don’t have.

We have a line of cars wrapped around the building now, and everyone is pissed. It’s been half an hour, and the line has not moved.

Manager: “If you don’t leave, I’m gonna have to call the cops.”

Customer: *Screams* “I can’t understand why you’re doing all this! Why we won’t you just serve me my mac and cheese?! I can clearly see it on your menu board right in front of me! Why are you lying to me?”

My curiosity and exasperation finally get the better of me, so against my better judgment, I exit the building and walk along the outside to the drive-thru order screen where this woman’s car is.

I tell her to please show me on the menu where it says the words “macaroni and cheese” anywhere.

With all the conviction of someone who is absolutely sure they’ve just proved some big dumb idiot wrong and that they will be hailed as a hero, she points.

Customer: “Right there!”

I look where at where she’s pointing.

I see it.

I sigh heavily as a bit more of my soul dies.

I compose myself and say, as politely as I possibly can:

Me: “Ma’am, that is a picture of the orange slices that come with the kid’s meal. We do not serve mac and cheese. Please drive away before the police get here.”

She looked confused and then looked at the menu board again. The realization dawned on her, and she drove off without a word. I went back inside and screamed in the walk-in freezer for ten seconds.