Ma’am, Not Sir. It’s Not Rocket Science.

My partner is a woman with a deep voice and a very feminine name. She is also slightly androgynous, but she’s just barely five feet tall.

We recently moved, and she’s calling a new bank to sort out account issues. It goes fairly well, and she passes all the security information and gets things finished. There’s only one problem, which she decides to address at the end.

It should also be noted that this is the first bank account she had to do all by herself. Her previous account, in a different bank, had two names: hers and her mother’s.

Partner: “Okay, can we get something sorted out?”

Employee #1: “Yes, sir?”

Partner: “Why are you calling me sir?”

Employee #1: “What do you mean?”

Partner: “Can you read the name on the account?”

Employee #1: “I have [Partner’s Feminine Name]. Is there an error, sir?”

Partner: “I’m a ma’am, not a sir.”

Employee #1: “Okay, ma’am. Are you saying you’re not the account holder?”

Partner: “Yes, I am the account holder. But I’m not a sir, I’m a ma’am.”

Employee #1: “…”

Partner: “Uh. Still there?”

Employee #1: “Okay, ma’am. Well, the gender listed for this account is male. Please visit your branch to get this sorted in person.”

So, my partner heads to the local branch.

Partner: “I have an issue with my new account. For some reason, my account has the wrong gender listed.”

Employee #2: “All right, let’s get that sorted for you, sir.”

Partner: “Yes, that’ll be perfect, as I’m not a sir.”

[Employee #2] takes my partner’s IDs and looks up her account information on the computer.

Employee #2: “Okay, sir. I’m not seeing the problem here? You’re listed as a male.”

Partner: “Because I’m not a man! Please look at my ID. What does it say for my gender?”

[Employee #2] stares at her ID and stares back at [Partner] multiple times.

Employee #2: “Uh… it says female.”

Partner: “Exactly. Can we get that fixed, please?”

Employee #2: “No problem.”

Did it end there?

The next time [Partner] heads into the bank for something and presents her ID…

Employee #3: “We’re going to have to confirm some account details, sir.”

Partner: “Sir?! I’m a ma’am. I thought we got this fixed. It should say female there.”

[Employee #3] looks at her ID and at the computer.

Employee #3: “You’re female?”

Partner: “Yes!”

Employee #3: “This account says male.”

Partner: *Pauses* “And my ID says female. I thought I fixed this last time.”

Employee #3: “So it does. We’ll get it fixed now.”

Seems fine, right? But no.

On her next bank visit, to a different branch than before but nearby…

Employee #4: “Okay, sir. This appears to not be your account. May I have your ID again, please?”

Partner: “…This again? I’m a ma’am, not sir.”

Employee #4: “Sir, this account belongs to a woman.”

Partner: “Because I am a woman!”

Employee #4: *Checks her ID* “Okay, please confirm these details.”

[Employee #4] goes into an extensive list of personal particulars and transaction details.

Employee #4: *With an odd look* “Well, then, ma’am. It appears to be your account, then.”

Hopefully, that will be the end of it.