Let Me Be Frank With You. Or Am I Earl?

Of the many phone scam calls I get EVERY DAY, this story is how I played one particular call.  

Scammer: “Hello. How are you today?”

Me: “Fine, thank you.”

Scammer: “That’s good. My name is Frank, and I am calling in reference to your Social Security number.”

Me: “What are you talking about? Is there something wrong? Has somebody stolen my number?”

Scammer: “It seems that your number is linked to some illegal activities.”

Me: “What activities? I’m not a crook.”

Scammer: “I need you to confirm your Social Security number and name before I can continue to talk about this.”

Me: “My name is Earl [Last Name] and my number is [number].”

Scammer: “That is correct with my files. So, to explain the illegal activity associated with you, it involves—”

I cut him off at that point.

Me: “Well, it can’t be me because that name is a client who died some ten years ago, and the social security number belongs to my dad who died in 1976. So, gee, Frank, that makes you a lying sack of s***.”

Scammer: “A**hole.”

He hung up.