This Joke Is Still In Utero

| Learning | July 21, 2013

(I’m on a research trip through my school, but my group gets stuck at the airport due to missing a connecting flight. Luckily, one of the professors on the trip has a sister that lives in the area who is kind enough to let us stay at her house while we wait for the next flight out. This particular professor teaches anatomy. Most of us students are downstairs when we hear someone racing down the stairs.)

Professor: “I’m a uterus!”

(The professor has a pink striped bed sheet over her head. We look at her with confused looks on our faces.)

Professor: “I’m a uterus! See this is the endometrium—” *she grabs the sheet* “—these are the fallopian tubes—” *points to her arms* “—and these are the ovaries!” *waves her hands over her head*

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About To Adopt An Apologetic Attitude

| Learning | July 20, 2013

(I overhear a discussion at the next table during a parent-teacher conference.)

Father: “Hi Mr. [name], we’re Mr./Mrs. [name], parents of [name].”

Teacher: “You’re [name]’s parents?”

Mother: “Yes. I understand you teach our daughter science.”

Teacher: “You’re not [name]’s parents.”

Father: “What do you mean?”

Teacher: “Look. I’m a science teacher, and I also specialize in genetics. You look nothing like your daughter, not one of you.”

Mother: “She’s adopted.”

Teacher: “Oh! Oh! I’m so sorry!”

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A Sound Reason For Falling

| Learning | July 20, 2013

(I am at my marching band practice. It is raining a bit.)

Teacher: “Blow me away with your sound!”

(We begin to play. As we do, my teacher stands up on a bench.)

Teacher: “S***!”

(I look up, and see him fall off of the bench onto the track that surrounds the football field. A few kids, all of whom are in the EMS, run to his aid, along with the other adults helping. I am with the people telling others not to move. My teacher gets up and looks at us.)

Teacher: “When I said to ‘blow me away with your sound’, I did not mean it literally!”

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He Is Pregnant With Potential

| Learning | July 19, 2013

(Our biology teacher has a reputation for being the coolest of our teachers. She frequently makes great jokes to keep the class interested while she teaches. In this particular class, we’ve started on human reproduction. Naturally this has a lot of the guys talking and laughing among themselves.)

Teacher: “Quiet down over there.”

(The group gets quiet for about two minutes, before talking again.)

Teacher: “[Guy #1’s name], do you have a uterus?”

Guy #1: “Um… I think so?”

(The entire class laughs at him, and he turns bright red.)

Guy #2: “Dude! Seriously?”

Teacher: “See, if you paid attention instead of talking in my class, you wouldn’t have made a fool of yourself.”

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Mr. Of The Jungle Is His Father

, , , , | Learning | July 19, 2013

(At my nephew’s daycare, children are being ‘screened’ to see if they need pre-K education. My nephew is about three years old.)

Teacher: “Can you tell me your first name?”

Nephew: “George.”

Teacher: “And what is your last name?”

Nephew: “Of the jungle.”

(He got docked points for that!)

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