Deferred Gratification 101

| Georgia, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I work in a campus post office for students only. Package slips are put in the boxes and an e-mail is sent to the student’s school e-mail address when they receive a package.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Student: “Hi, do I have a package?”

Me: “Did you have a package slip in your box? I need that.”

Student: “No, I didn’t get one.”

(I go to the back and check anyway because one of the workers often forgets to put the slips in the boxes during her shift.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t see any package with your name.”

Student: “Could you check again?”

Me: “There were only 6 packages, and I’m sure none of them were for you. Did you get an email saying your package had arrived?”

Student: “No.”

Me: “Did the tracking number say it had been delivered?”

Student: “Oh, no, the tracking number didn’t have any information on it.”

(I go online to double check her tracking number.)

Me: “It says here that you ordered the package only three hours ago.”

Student: “Yeah, so it’s not here yet?”

Me: “No. It says here that it’s coming from out of the country. It could take up to a month for it to arrive depending on how long it takes to get through customs, but it usually takes two or three weeks.”

Student: “Oh…well, okay. I’ll come back to check tomorrow then!”

So Slow It Hertz

| North Carolina, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account.”

Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

Caller: “What’s a browser?”

Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

Me: “That’s a search engine.

Caller: “Ask.com?”

Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

(This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”

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Not Going To Qualify

| Arizona, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

Student: “I’d like to know where your study guides are. I’m going to take a test.”

Me: “Sure, which one?”

Student: “The Mensa test. I need to know where your Mensa test study guides are.”

Me: “I’m sorry. They don’t make those.”

Student: “So, will you be getting some in soon?”

No, Not That Kind Of Flash Pass

| Edinburgh, UK | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m working during a night shift. A girl enters the lobby in her pajamas.)

Student: “Um, hi. I’ve locked myself out of my room.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. As you know, the access fee is £5.”

Student: “Yes, I know, but I don’t have any money with me. Everything is in my room.”

Me: “Well, I can’t let you back in until we get £5 from you, but I can take it from your deposit if you like.”

Student: “No, no! You can’t do that. My mum will kill me!”

Me: “It’s either that, or you give me £5 cash right now. There is no alternative.”

(The girl awkwardly pauses.)

Student: “Are you sure?”

(The girl gives him a cheeky look before taking off her top completely, exposing her naked front. I stare in shock, before quickly regaining my composure.)

Me: “Well, those are very nice. Now, that’ll be £5 please.”

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High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

| Boston, MA, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

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