Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance, Part 2
Patron #1: “Why do you have two ice cream options?”
Me: “One is made with cow’s milk, while the other is made with coconut milk.”
Patron #1: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “One is vegan-friendly and safe for those with lactose sensitivity.”
Patron #1: “I don’t understand. Which should I get?”
Me: “I assume after the chicken you just had that you are neither vegan nor lactose intolerant, so I would suggest the ice cream made with cow’s milk.”
Patron #1: “No, I think I’m lactose intolerant.”
Me: “But your sauce was prepared with milk. Are you all right?”
Patron #1: “I think so.” *to [Patron #2]* “Am I?”
(I stare at both of them while [Patron #2] face-palms.)
Patron #2: “I think we’ll risk it.”
(I bring them their ice cream. Half an hour later I am asked to bring the bill, and [Patron #2] offers to pay with a card. I take him to the reader.)
Me: “Are you sure he’s all right? I don’t want him to get sick.”
Patron #2: “I don’t think he knows what it means, so I think it’s safe to assume he’ll be fine.”
Me: *worried* “Oh, I thought you knew each other. I shouldn’t have suggested the cow’s milk.”
Patron #2: “No, seriously. Even if he is lactose intolerant, I doubt there’s enough going on in there to make the connection. I think I’ve actually gotten dumber just spending the night with him.”
Me: “Oh, I see. Well, please let us know if there are any problems.”
Patron #2: “Sure, although I doubt I’ll see him after tonight. I don’t know if I’ll ever use Grindr again!”
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
