It Would Be Rice If That Actually Worked

I work at a relatively fancy grocery store that has a rice bar: essentially, you scoop your own dry rice into a bag and weigh it. I am about to restock some of the sushi rice when a customer rushes up and throws a cellphone into it.

I am in momentary shock as she is using her bare hands to cover the phone in some kind of desperate fashion. Eventually, I manage to get out some words.

Me: “Madam, what are you doing?”

Customer: “I heard that putting a phone in dry rice will fix it!”

Me: “Madam, what you’re doing is incredibly unhygienic! I’ll have to throw away all this rice because you’ve touched it and put your wet phone into it.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay! My hands are clean, and my phone isn’t wet!”

Me: “But dry rice is supposed to fix water-damaged phones.”

Customer: “Oh, I dropped my phone and cracked the screen. I’m trying to fix it.”

I stare in silence for a moment while I try to comprehend her thought process.

Customer: “Can I check if the screen is fixed now?”