In The Wrong Line And Out Of Line

Our convenience store has a sandwich franchise/deli in it, so we have two lines: one for those who need cold cuts or sandwiches and one for express purchases like cigarettes, milk, and, unfortunately, lottery.

It’s a big lottery night. The express line is going crazy with lottery customers and, as anyone who has sold lottery can tell you, they can be pretty intense. I am selling lottery ticket after lottery ticket while the other two or three employees work the cold cut line.

A lady and a guy in the cold cut line are talking. I am confused when the guy gets angry.

Customer: “So, do I not exist or something?”

Apparently, those two aren’t together at all, and although the lady has been helped, he hasn’t. This means that some minutes ago when the express line was empty, I really could have helped the guy but did dishes or some other shift work instead.

Okay, legitimate gripe, but now the express line is long and growing longer, and I can’t have everyone on cold cuts.

Me: “Sir, I’m working the express line. These people in the line don’t need a sandwich or cold cuts.”

It’s getting a little contentious because I am actually helping other customers while this is going on, and I guess he wants me to abandon the express line and help him, but that really just isn’t feasible on a high Power Ball night.

Customer: “But I don’t need cold cuts or sandwiches, either!”

Me: “Sir, the express line would have been a better choice for you.”

It’s obviously moving much faster than the other line.

Customer: “You should have known I wasn’t with that lady.”

I’m really slow to boil, but it’s the end of a long, busy day.

Me: “Oh, you’re a mind reader?”

Customer: “I’m just observant. How was I supposed to know that was the express line?”

I point to the three-foot-by-three-foot sign above the express line that says, “EXPRESS. No Cold Cuts or Sandwiches.”

Me: “By reading the sign, Mr. Observant.”

There were definitely a few audible snickers from some nearby customers. He made his purchase and slunk out of the store. If he’d had a tail — and if his comportment can be taken as any kind of indicator, he might have — it would have been between his legs.