I Am Me And I Am He

(This is an email conversation:)

Customer: “I keep getting all these emails from you about different pricing and rock-bottom pricing deals and how you want to give me stuff. Tell me more about this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot find a [Customer] in our database, nor can I find an account attached to [email provided]. Under what name, email address, and physical address is your account listed?”

Customer: “I have no idea. Just answer my questions.”

Me: “If you have ‘no idea’ what name the account is under, or what email address or physical address, I cannot assist you, I’m sorry. Your first email could be referring to a number of things we’re offering. Please clarify the account information and I’d be glad to assist you.”

Customer: “Forget about the sale, then.”

(If you have no idea who you are, how I am I supposed to know who you are?)