He’s Actually Biding His Time Until Prison

After I graduated from university, I worked for a while in the food section of a city centre department store. The store had a customer collect-by-car point, meaning that customers’ food was kept in a walk-in fridge so they could leave it with us while they went shopping elsewhere in the city. The store hired a security guard to mind the collection point, while a store employee worked inside. The store hired a young man who was about to go to university to work inside of the collection point, while the security guard was a retired policeman. The security guard was a very pleasant man; the young man was an entitled so-and-so.

Young Man: *Smugly* “You know I’m only doing this until I start Uni.”

Soon after the young man began work, things started to go missing from customers’ bags. We knew they had, because of course, the customers had receipts that listed all the items. The young man was the only one who really could have taken them, but the store lacked evidence. So, someone talked to the security guard, and within a day he had caught the young man red-handed, and the young man had been fired.

Security Guard: “What he didn’t realise was that I’m not just a retired policeman; I’m the retired chief detective of a major city constabulary!”