Hail Satan And Pass The Gravy

(My eight-year-old brother comes home from a birthday party.)

Mom: “Was there food at the party?”  

Brother: “Yes, Mommy, but I didn’t eat it because it was blessed by another god and I believe in Jesus.”

Mom: “Oh. Okay, then.”

Brother: “Yes, the lady kept saying it was blessed in Hell.”

Mom: “Did she maybe say, ‘Blessed Halal’?”

Brother: “Maybe. Why?”

Mother: “There’s a big difference. It would have been fine if you had eaten it.”

(My brother spent a birthday party thinking his friend was a satanic worshiper and they were trying to poison him with food from Hell. On the bright side, he was polite and just told the lady that he had already eaten. Gotta love eight-year-olds.)