Mom’s Really Running You Through The Wringer

, , , , , | Related | June 18, 2019

(I move out of home and start going to college about a four-hour drive away when I am eighteen. My first time back in my parents’ house is Thanksgiving almost four months after moving away. A family friend graduated high school with me and moved out of home for college, too, but he moved to Arizona, about 10 to 12 driving hours away. He also drives back to spend Thanksgiving with his family. My first day back, my mom asks me this.)

Mom: “Did you bring your laundry for me?”

Me: *utterly baffled* “What? Why the heck would I bring my dirty laundry here?”

Mom: “Boys always bring their laundry home for their moms to wash when they first move out.”

Me: “I doubt that, but no, I didn’t bring you my laundry. I’ve been using a laundromat down the street from my apartment.”

Mom: “Are you sure? [Friend] brought all his clothes back for [Friend’s Mom] to wash.”

Me: “Well, I’m not [Friend]! I’ve been doing my own laundry for… Wait. Are you telling me that [Friend] didn’t wash his clothes for the last four months and then drove back from Arizona with a car full of stinky clothes?”

Mom: “Yep! I was planning on washing your clothes, too.”

(She bothers me a couple more times during the five-day visit, asking if I have clothes for her to wash. Finally, on the day I’m driving back to my apartment, I carry the dirty clothes I wore that weekend, as well as the towels I used from the bathroom, into the laundry room so I don’t have to drive home with dirty clothes and so my parents have clean towels in the hall bathroom. My mom catches me on the way.)

Mom: “I thought you said you didn’t bring your laundry home with you!”

Me: *gritting teeth* “I didn’t. These are the clothes I wore while I was here and the bathroom towels.”

(I then put my laundry into the washing machine, rotate it into the drier, fold and pack it myself, and restock the towels in the bathroom. However, I hear my mom talking to [Friend’s Mom] on the phone.)

Mom: “You were right; [My Name] brought his clothes for me to wash, just like [Friend].”

Me: *head explodes*

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