Getting A Refund Is Like Walking Through Fire

I’m handling customer service calls for a shoe company that offers a three-month warranty on all shoes against manufacturing defects.

Caller: “I went to my branch, and they wouldn’t replace my boots under the warranty even though I had my receipt!”

Me: “What was the reason for the return?”

Caller: “My boots were advertised as waterproof but now they’re leaking!”

If that is the case, we normally replace them with no questions asked. I talk with him some more to get more details.

Caller: “Yeah, so after the shoes leaked, I put them on the stove to dry them out, but they burned down.”

Me: “So, that was the state you brought them in to exchange for a new pair?”

Caller: “Yeah.”

Me: “Sir, while we do sympathize with your misfortune—” *AKA stupidity* “—we cannot replace your shoes because although they are advertised as waterproof, they are not advertised as fireproof, and therefore, since you deliberately put them on an open flame and burned them, our company cannot be held liable.”

Caller: “But I always put all my shoes on the fire to dry, and this is the first time the shoes have burnt!”

I suggested that he call the company that makes the stove that burned his shoes and complain to them.