Get Back Here And Take My Money!

My wife and I go to a restaurant to get dinner together for our anniversary. We have a nice meal, the service is good, and we ask for our bill.

The waiter disappears into the back. We wait for about ten minutes and then ask one of the other waiters. He disappears into the back, too. Ten more minutes and neither waiter has returned from the back, so we ask a third waitress. She too disappears into the back and never returns.

At this point, there are only two waitstaff left helping anyone. We flag one down.

Me: “Look, we’ll wait ten more minutes, but we only have a card, no cash, and it’s been a half-hour since we asked for the bill. If one of the waiters we’ve sent to the back doesn’t come out with the bill in ten more minutes, we’re just going assume that the manager intends to comp us for the inconvenience and walk out without paying.”

Waiter: “Oh, please don’t do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t wait forever. We have things we plan to do today, and we’re already well over our budgeted time for eating.”

Waiter: “I’ll be right out with your bill!”

Now, only one waitstaff was at the front, running back and forth from the kitchen. We waited for ten minutes and then packed up and left.

No one contacted us later, and we never returned to that restaurant. They’re still open.