From Hunting To Hired To Dishonorably Discharged

In the mid-1970s, my father was touring with a hunter friend of his, both using old rifles and wearing older camouflaged clothing. In the area, there was a military practice going on between forest commandoes and regulars from various Soviet states.

As my father and his friend walked and chatted, a small group of regulars hopped in front of them and demanded that they drop the rifles.

My father almost did so, but his friend told him to instead very carefully unload and then put the guns down. The regulars were confused and radioed the headquarters that led the practice. Then, they decided to take my father and his friend to the “POW” area (the cantine), where the losers are kept and given a performance review.

The moment they arrived, an officer started shouting at my father and his friend for removing any insignia and such from their clothing. The officer shouted in a language neither of the two “captives” understood. After being scolded, they got an extra heaping in Hungarian about how they were completely unfit, too slow, etc. My father suddenly lost it.

Father: “Just look us up in your registers or what have you. I don’t care. We are not soldiers.”

Officer: “Stop kidding! Only soldiers can be in this area. We notified everyone in the area and put up markers within a five-kilometer radius.”

Father: “We came here for a hunting trip!”

The officer left to get the name list and then returned, even angrier, with a general in tow.

General: “So, you two are not soldiers, yet you ended up in the middle of a war game. Your clothing is camo, so you could be easily mistaken for one of the commandoes from a friendly country that is also attending. You know that you two could be imprisoned for trespassing and disrupting military practice?”

They did not know and explained that this must be a mistake. The general smiled.

General: “Were you soldiers before? No? Congratulations, and welcome to the Hungarian Home Guard. You lost the game. Just sit down until we finish.”

So, they sat down, chatted in their limited knowledge, and had some soft drinks. After a few hours, the soldiers came back, the generals had some talk, and a colonel walked over to my father and his friend.

Colonel: “We need to remove you from active duty for unprofessionalism and not meeting requirements. Please find out which bus goes to the settlement closest to your home, and we will notify you when you are drafted. Dismissed!”

To his credit, he only started laughing after the salute.