Driving Like They’re High(way)

Other Car: *driving at 30 in right lane*

Me: *slows down, prepares to pass on left*

Other Car: *drifts into shoulder then overcorrects hard into my lane*

Me: *slam on brakes, thinking I’m going to hit them*

Other Car: *front bumper flies off into the shoulder, with obvious damage from before*

Me: *thinking* “This guy has no business out here.”

(I contact the Highway Patrol number listed on the signs for emergencies on the highway and stay on the car, trying to get the plate number. I am placed on hold. Stunned, I wait, forgetting the plate number as I realize the police have put me on hold. After waiting five minutes, I finally get a dispatcher.)

Dispatcher: “Highway Patrol.”

Me: “Yeah, hi, I’m driving on [Highway], passing mile marker [number]—“

Operator: “So, you’re on [Highway in this part of the state]? Stand by, we will transfer you to that troop.”

Me: “Hey, this is urge—“

Hold Music: *plays*

Me: “What the f***?”

Hold Music: *continues to play*

Other Car: *continues driving erratic and slow*

(We’ve passed a pair of mile markers now, with me still on this car’s tail.)

Me: “Hello? What is this?”

(By this point, we had approached a part of the highway where three lanes feed into one, and since I was trying to tail them from a non-obvious distance, this allowed other cars to merge in and prevent me from getting their plate. I pulled over and waited for a response from the state troopers. After another ten minutes of hold music, I gave up.)