Chicken Ticked-Off Masala  

(I’m eating in a pure veg Indian restaurant in the USA when I overhear this conversation between an angry American customer and the waiter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, I think you’ve left out part of the menu. I can’t find chicken tikka masala anywhere.”

Waiter: “Sorry, sir. You are in a pure veg restaurant. Everything here is made with pure veg foods. We do not use any meat or anything like that in our cooking.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you should have a sign somewhere! I don’t want to eat food made by you filthy hippies!”

Waiter: “Hippies?”

Customer: “You know, hippy. All vegetarians are idiotic hippies. They don’t deserve restaurants like this.”

Waiter: “‘Pure Vegetarian’ is in the name of the restaurant. You are coming in to a place with vegetarians and complaining about vegetarians! You are just like my uncle, who hates Muslims, but decided to live in Saudi, anyway, and then whenever he came home to India he always would complain about the Muslims everywhere. Like my uncle complains needlessly, you also complain needlessly. If you want to eat meat, then go to a different restaurant.”

Customer: “Fine, I will! And I’ll post a bad review about how [Restaurant] didn’t give me chicken tikka masala!”