Can’t Account For That Much Stupidity

(I work in a bank and I answer a call.)

Caller: “What do I need if I want to set up direct deposit?”

Me: “You’d need to give your company HR the routing number to the bank and your account number.”

Caller: “I don’t have an account with you guys, though.”

Me: “Okay, let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly. Your company wants to pay you directly, by directly depositing your paycheck? And you need to know how to do that?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Yeah, you’d need the routing number and account number.”

Caller: “Is there any way to do this without an account?”

Me: *pause* “No, you’d need an account to have money direct deposited into an account.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, thanks. How much does it cost to open a checking account?”

(I told him, got off the phone, and banged my head on my desk.)

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