Aunt Marge Learned Her Lesson, And She Taught One, As Well

In fourth or fifth grade, I start reading the “Harry Potter” series. I’m reading the third book in the car while my mother drives. I come across a word I don’t know. I’m a very innocent and sheltered kid.

Me: “Mom?”

Mom: “Yeah?”

Me: “What’s a bitch?”

Mom: *After a stunned silence* “What on earth are you reading?”

Me: “The Prisoner of Azkaban. Aunt Marge said, ‘If there’s something wrong with the bitch, there’ll be something wrong with the pup’.”

I don’t remember what she told me, but I’m pretty sure I nearly gave her a heart attack.