At Least You Don’t Have To Drink To Forget

I have some… memory issues. I am very good at retaining information, but events as they are happening, not so much. What this means is that I can recite long poems I had to study in Literature classes without hesitating, explain the symbolism of many flowers because I read a rather fascinating book on it years ago, or recount the history of the textile industry in my hometown almost exactly the way I learned about it in school, but don’t bother asking me what I ate for dinner two days ago. I also frequently forget where I’ve put things, what I was doing when my thought process was interrupted, and stuff like that.

I deal with this to the best of my abilities. I use not only the calendar app on my phone for reminders, but also a paper day planner AND a wall-mounted calendar, so I don’t forget appointments, birthdays, or when essays and such are due. I set a daily alarm so I don’t forget to take my medication. (Though, I still forget sometimes when the alarm goes off while I’m in the middle of something.) I make grocery lists so I don’t get back from the store only to realise I’ve forgotten something crucial… and sometimes I reach the store only to realise I’ve forgotten to take the grocery list with me).

And I am used to triple-checking things, like if I have everything I need before leaving the house, or if I’ve got the right time and place for an appointment. I still end up forgetting things on a regular basis, but I always thought it wasn’t all that noticeable to other people. Wrong!

One day, I arrive at the university I attend for a seminar. I enter the classroom as usual with everyone else, find a seat, and go to take the stuff I need for class out of my bag.

Me: *Resigned* “Aww, darn it.”

Classmate: “What is it?”

Me: “Forgot my textbook.”

I want to add that I was sure I’d put it into my bag last night, but the teacher, who I’ve had for a few different subjects over the last three years, breaks into the conversation in a matter-of-fact tone.

Teacher: “If I got a bottle of wine for every time you forgot something, [My Name], I would have a very well-stocked cellar.”

Me: “I swear I’m not doing it on purpose, sir!”

At the next seminar, I remembered to bring my textbook… but I left my water bottle on the kitchen counter.

Let’s face it: I’m hopeless!