Any Mention Of Attention May Lead To Dissension
(Four years ago, I ordered a laptop. It wasn’t a very good machine, and after owning it for only two years I sent it away to be recycled. Last month, I got a check from the manufacturer for no apparent reason, so I’m calling to verify this isn’t some kind of scam.)
Me: “Hello, I just received a check from you but I’m not sure why. The last business I did with you all was four years ago, but this check just arrived for no reason.”
Rep: “I can look that up for you. I’ll just need the service tag off of the laptop.”
Me: “I don’t own or possess that laptop anymore. Can you look it up by my personal information?”
Rep: “The service tag will be located on the bottom of the machine, next to the Windows decal, but not on the battery.”
Me: “No, sorry, I wasn’t clear. I don’t have the laptop here with me anymore.”
Rep: “Well, when will you be in front of the laptop again?”
Me: “I won’t be. It’s gone. I threw it away. It’s in the junk heap.”
Rep: “If you just close the lid and turn the laptop over, you will see a sticker with the service tag on it.”
Me: “Ma’am, be with me in this moment. The laptop is no longer in my physical possession. It’s gone. Trash. Garbage. I put it in a big black bag, put it in a plastic bin on the curb and a big truck came, crushed it, and took it away. I do not own this laptop anymore. It is not here and it never will be here again.”
Rep: “Hmm…”
Me: “Could you maybe look up my account if I gave you my address, e-mail address, phone number, something?”
Rep: “Okay, let me look up your phone number. What’s your number?”
Me: “It’s 555-1234.”
Rep: “Let me put you on hold.”
(I sit on hold for ten minutes. Finally, she comes back.)
Rep: “I didn’t find any account under 555-4483.”
Me: “Okay, that’s not even close to the number I gave you. I’m going to say the number again. Repeat it back to me so I know you got it. 555…”
Rep: *stays silent*
Me: “Say it back.”
Rep: *sighs* “555…”
Me: “1234…”
Rep: *stays silent*
Me: “Say it back.”
Rep: *hangs up*
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
