A Beard To Be Feared

(My boyfriend does some photo modelling on the side to help pay for university, mostly ads or brochures for local businesses. Since beards are currently in high-demand for male models, he’s been wearing a full beard for a few months now. A while ago, he did a photo shoot for a local country hotel, for an ad for their new spa area. Because the date of the photo shoot had to be postponed several times, they offered him a gift card in addition to his pay, which he saved for taking me to dinner on Valentine’s Day a couple of months later. We’re both adequately dressed, but as soon as we arrive, the head waiter gives us a strange look.)

Boyfriend: “Hi. We have a reservation for two today under the name ‘[Boyfriend].’”

Waiter: “Yes, I’m sure. However, there’s a little problem with this.”

Boyfriend: “Okay. What is it?”

Waiter: “You see, today is Valentine’s Day. A lot of people are taking out their wives or husbands for dinner, and it’s a very formal event for us. We’re trying to make this a very special evening for our guests. Because of this, we don’t want our guests to have to put up with… well…” *gesturing a full beard with his hands* “…certain sights.”

Boyfriend: “I see! In that case—” *gesturing ‘wait a second’ with his fingers and taking a stack of advertising brochures from a nearby stand* “—you’d better get rid of these!”

(He unfolded a brochure, and on the first page there was a picture of him relaxing in their state-of-the-art whirlpool. While the waiter turned fifty shades of red, we turned around and left, and instead went to a pizza parlor near our apartment. We had a lovely evening laughing about the ignorant waiter.)

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