You’re Gonna Crucify Them

(I am a high school teacher, and we had our swimming carnival the other day. The kids get really enthusiastic about their sports houses. They dress in their house colours and bring banners, decorations, and flags. I am supervising and walk past two boys in year seven playing with a flag. One boy is tapping the other one on his shoulders and shouting, “I crucify you!” That catches my attention, and I stop.)

Me: “Hey, boys. That’s a little morbid, don’t you think?”

Flag Boy: “What do you mean, miss?”

Me: “Do you know what it means to crucify someone?”

Boys: *blank looks*

Me: “Crucifying someone is when you nail someone to a piece of wood and hang them up until they die.”

Crucified Boy: “Oh!”

Me: “Crucifying someone is a bit of a dishonourable thing. It looks more like you’re trying to knight each other, like when the queen taps the shoulders of a brave soldier and makes them a ‘sir.’ That is a sign of honour.”

Boys: *comprehension slowly dawning*

Flag Boy: “Wait… I’ve been crucifying people all day!”