Coworker: “I hate creeps at the bus stop. This guy came up to me yesterday and was all, like, ‘So, how are you?'”

Me: “Yeah. They can get a little creepy.”

Coworker: “I know! So I just took a few steps away and started talking to another person. Like, ‘So, how’s it going?'”

Me: “Uh…”

(I work at a school library. One of our student workers is graduating, and he invites me to a pool party. I show up wearing a bikini and start talking to someone.)

Worker’s Friend: “So are you in [Student Worker]’s business class?”

Me: “No. I actually work with him.”

Worker’s Friend: *realizing* “Oh! You’re the library girl!”

Me: “Yeah, I—”

Worker’s Friend: “But you’re hot!

Me: “…thanks?”

(I am working the night shift for the hospital’s IT department.)

Doctor: “Hey, I need you to delete this record. There’s no one in the bed, and we need to check a new patient into it.”

Me: “Where is the patient that the system thinks should in the bed?”

Doctor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The patient wasn’t checked out of the hospital. Where are they?”

Doctor: “We don’t know. Not in this bed.”

Me: “I’m not going to just delete a human being who came in for treatment and apparently disappeared. Go find out what happened.”

(Apparently, the patient had been moved to a different ward of the hospital three days before, but their records had not moved with them. This patient sat in some other bed without their chart for three days. None of the hospital staff noticed.)

(The job I have is in central London and involves early starts between 3 am to 5:30 am. Consequently, travel at this time is subsidised by the company. Most of us get taxis into work. I have recently moved house and find a local taxi company.)

Me: “Hi. I ordered a car for 2:15 am. It’s now 2:25 am and he still hasn’t turned up. This will make me late for work. Can you get this sorted please?”

(They call back.)

Operator: “Hello, sir. I’m afraid you’re driver was stopped by police for a random check. He will be with you shortly.”

Me: “Well, why wasn’t I warned that he would be late? I’m already going to be late. Please get someone here ASAP.”

(I give them the benefit of the doubt that this is a one-off. However, I am getting increasingly frustrated that they also felt the need to call as late as 10:30 the night before to confirm the early booking, even though common sense says that I would be in bed at that time given how early the cars are booked for. After missing a phone call one evening, I ring back around 30 minutes later confirming I still wanted the cab. Predictably, once again they don’t show.)

Me: “I ordered a car for 4:45 am. Can you confirm when he will be here, please?”

Operator: “I’m afraid, sir, that we tried to call you last night. There was no response so the car has been cancelled.”

Me: “No. That is not true! I rang back and confirmed that I still needed the car.”

Operator: “No, sir. You didn’t answer so we cancelled the car.”

(I’m on the verge of completely losing my temper now due the fact that instead of apologising for the mistake, they are just insisting that I never called back to confirm.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I called back. Besides, if I booked the car just two days ago why would I no longer need it? When can you get me a car?”

Operator: “It wouldn’t be for 45 minutes, sir.”

Me: “Are you kidding me!?”

Operator: “Maybe another taxi company would be able to help you, but you will have to call them yourselves.”

(I hang up there and then because I know I will explode if I carry on talking to them. I drive to work that morning and get into trouble for being late. Needless to say, I cancel all future bookings with them. A week later, however, I receive the following text:)

Text Message: “Hello this is a message from [Taxi Company] sir you canceled all bokkings with us due to bad servise please call to confirm if you would like these booking”

(No, really. The spelling and grammar was that poor, and there was no hint of an apology for the awful service. Since they knew my address I thought it best not to respond.)

(I am on the phone with my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “[New Employee I haven’t met] won’t be in today. She was in a fatal car accident.”

(My heart almost stops.)

Me: “WHAT?!?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, she’ll be starting in a few days.”

Me: “[Supervisor], you scared me. I think someone needs to tell you what ‘fatal’ means!”