(This happened over the walkies that the employees use to communicate with each other.)
Coworker: “Hey, do we sell any troll dolls?”
Manager: “Don’t think so. Had a guest ask me that yesterday. I had to resist the urge to tell her to check under a bridge.”
(It’s my first day on a new job and I am eating lunch in the break room. Another employee comes in and looks at me.)
Employee: “Hey, did you see the lemon cake they had out here yesterday?”
Me: “I wasn’t employed here yesterday.”
Employee: “Oh. Well, good talk!”
(I work from home for an IT company and typically work PST times as that’s where the bulk of my stakeholders are. I live in the EST time zone and as it’s close to Christmas, I decide to take some time in the morning to do errands before the west coast folks are online. It’s about 11:00 am EST and I’m starving so I head into a well-known fast food joint, since it’s on my errand route.)
Me: “Hi, can I please have [Breakfast Wrap] and a small [Diet Soda]?”
Cashier: “A small what?”
Me: “[Diet Soda], please.”
Cashier: “Okay, that’s [total].”
Worker #2: “[Cashier], what are you doing? Why are you pouring a soft drink? It’s not even noon yet!” *laughs*
Cashier: “Right? Who in their right mind orders a soft drink in the morning? That’s just weird, right?” *turns to see me still standing there and sputters* “Well, here you are!”
(I was embarrassed beyond belief but held my tongue. I wasn’t about to ruin a 15- to 16-year-old’s day by calling her out but I spent the rest of the day thinking of a million retorts.)
(I’m in college. I and a group of my friends have headed out to pick up lunch in the centre of town and head into a fast food place. They’re advertising a new burger called “The Big King.” The advertising isn’t very clear as to what it has in it.)
Friend: “Excuse me, what’s in the Big King?”
(The server jolts and looks startled before turning to face into the kitchen.)
Server: *heavily accented* “[Worker #1]! What is Big King?!”
(The person he’s shouting at looks like a deer in headlights, shakes his head, and dashes off.)
Server: “[Worker #2]! What is Big King?!”
(The second person does the same, this time heading through a door in the back and not returning. At this point we’re all exchanging looks.)
Server: “[Worker #3]! What is Big King?!”
(The third person froze solid and didn’t respond. My friend put up his hands and ordered something else. The phrase “What is Big King?!” became a running joke among our whole class.)
(I am heading to a motorcycle driver’s ed class and I am parched. I enter a local convenience store I’ve never been to before that is two doors down from the driving class, in an exterior mall. I know I have no money on me, only plastic, but I do notice the credit cards stamps/stickers on the window shop and also notice the PIN pad on the counter when I get in. I grab a medium water bottle in the fridge at the back, open in up and take a big gulp, and head to the counter to pay for it. The clerk, who in hindsight I assume is the owner, scans it and declares my total.)
Me: “With Visa, please.”
Clerk: “You can’t. Cash or debit please.”
Me: “What? But you have credit card stickers on your window pane.”
Clerk: “Yes, but you’re not buying more than 10$.”
Me: “I didn’t see the warning. Where is it advertised?” *looking around for a sign*
Clerk: “I don’t have one.”
Me: “Then how was I supposed to know? Besides, I don’t have anything else.”
Clerk: “Tough luck. Go put your bottle back.”
Me: “But I already drank from it.”
Clerk: “Not my problem. You either buy more stuff or you pay cash. I won’t make any money on that bottle of water if you pay with a credit card.”
Me: “Wrong! It is clearly your problem. You are advertising credits cards on your window pane. I would have understood if your PIN pad was not working, but that’s not the case since the previous customer just paid with it. Just ring me up.”
(At this point there is a lot of back and forth about the fact I just want to pay for a bottle and him not having any of it. A small line is forming up.)
Clerk: “If you don’t pay I will call the police and—”
Me: “I AM PAYING! You’re refusing it the method you’re advertising you accept, and I don’t have any other way of paying you.”
Clerk: “You leave me no choice…”
Me: “Perfect, then. Call them. For your information I will attend a driver’s ed at [School] two doors down. Send the cops there; my name is [My Name].”
(The clerk/owner has a smug face of superiority as he sidestepped toward the back office to make the call. I take the opportunity to pull up my phone and take pictures of the counter to be a step ahead. I have gauged he is not an entirely stupid guy.)
Guy Behind Me: “What are you doing?”
Me: “The whole exchange feels like he was trying to extort me. I’m not taking any chances.”
Guy Behind Me: “So?”
Me: “I have a feeling he will print a d*** sign when I’m gone.”
(I left and the cops did show up during class. As we go back into the store and brand new 8.5×11 printed piece of paper stating the under 10$ appeared. I know vengeance is petty, but at that exact moment, it was the best feeling ever when the smug face disappeared as I showed the pictures to the cops. I promptly paid with my credit card in front of the cops and they stayed with the owner to have a chat with him. I have no clue if what he was doing was legal or not, but the cops clearly took my side with the disingenuousness of the clerk/owner.)
