(I’m the one who pulled a bone-head move in this one. I’m taking the returned/left-behind/misplaced merchandise from the front end and putting it all back on the shelves. For whatever reason there’s suddenly six shopping carts full of the stuff all at once, when normally there’s less than half a cart. Needless to say, I’m scrambling back and forth to put it all away, as I’m the only one in that sub-section of the store, when suddenly a customer yells out.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: *whirling around, still holding the household decorations in my hand* “Yes?! I’m sorry, is something wrong?”

Customer: “Yeah, those are mine!”

(I blink and look down, then back at the cart I pulled them from, seeing there is a LOT of stuff in there that isn’t from the home decor/appliance section!)

Me: “OH, MY GOSH! I’m so sorry, I’ve just been pulling from this whole line of carts here with all the stuff that needs to go back on the shelves and I didn’t notice your cart had gotten into the middle of it all!”

Customer: “Oh, my gosh! Wait, they have you putting ALL of this away by yourself?”

Me: “It’s an odd situation. There’s normally only about half a cart to put away, but I guess with the store so busy everything got flooded, and everyone else is up on register right now.”

Customer: “Hm… okay, hold on.”

(She then pushed her cart down one of the seldom-busy aisles, came back, and helped me put away two baskets! Turned out she comes by about once a week to see what new stuff we have, and knew where more stuff was located than half the people that work here. Big thanks to the lady that helped me dig myself out of a hole, and not scream at me when I took her framed mirrors!)

(A new restaurant has opened up in town, so my boyfriend and I decide to try it out. He orders a sandwich while I get the bacon cheeseburger. After taking a bite, I realize something is wrong.)

Me: “Um, excuse me. There is no bacon on my burger.”

Waiter: “Um, yeah, we’re out of bacon.” *he walks away*

Boyfriend: “Well, that’s weird they didn’t tell you. Do you want to go?”

Me: “No, no, it’s not that big of deal.”

(Later, when the check arrives, we notice something.)

Me: “Hey, you overcharged us. You charged for his sandwich and the bacon cheeseburger.”

Waiter: *looking annoyed* “Yeah, that’s what you ordered.”

Me: “But it’s not what I ate; you ran out of bacon so I only had a cheeseburger. That’s a $3.50 difference.”

Waiter: “You ordered the bacon cheeseburger. You’re paying for the bacon cheeseburger.”

(Normally, I’d let it go but we asked for the manager. He agreed with the waiter and said that it wasn’t his fault we ordered something they ran out of! We never went back.)

Related:
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 3
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 2
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

(I’ve just returned from vacation during which my boyfriend proposed to me. I go tell my coworker who shares an office with another guy.)

Me: “[Coworker #1]! I got engaged at the Grand Canyon!”

Coworker #1: “Oh, my gosh, congratulations! That’s awesome! How long have you guys been together?”

Me: “Three years!”

Coworker #1: “Wow that’s a long time!”

Me: “Well, you know what they say, you either get married or you break up.”

Coworker #1: “Those are the two options.”

(Then our other coworker chimes in.)

Coworker #2: “Or there’s the third option, murder-suicide.”

Me: “…”

Coworker #1: “…”

Me: “Okay, backing away slowly.”

(I work at an apartment complex with university-aged student workers. Sometimes they aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. I am sitting at my computer when one comes over to speak with me.)

Student: “Hey, [My Name], I know you showed me how to make coffee before, but can you show me again?”

Me: “I’m working on something at the moment, but I can tell you how again quickly. What have you done already?”

Student: “Nothing, but I know I use a bag and something else…” *scrunching his face while thinking too hard*

Me: “A filter! Don’t forget that! So put one-and-a-half bags of coffee with a filter into the top and then put the pot underneath. Push the “on” button and that’s it.”

Student: “Oh, yeah! Ok, I’ll do that.”

(He leaves my office and I go back to working. Five minutes later, he pops his head back in.)

Student: “Hey.”

Me: “Yeah, [Student], what’s up?”

Student: “Do I need to remove the lid before putting the pot under?”

Me: *trying to be sure he is serious* “Yes, otherwise it wouldn’t go into the pot.”

Student: “Ok, just making sure. So one-and-a-half bags in the top; put pot underneath.”

Me: “A filter!”

Student: “Oh, yeah, a filter, and push on. Got it!”

(I see him go by with a look of accomplishment on his face so I go back to my project. Another student comes by to grab the coffee, then quickly runs to my office.)

Student #2: “Who made the coffee?!”

Me: “[Student], why?”

Student #2: “Well, there’s coffee running out of the pot, onto the bar, and onto the floor?”

Me: *I call the front desk* “[Student]! Why is there coffee all over the floor? You did check to make sure the pot was empty and clean right?”

Student: “Nobody told me I had to do that!”

(Three other coworkers and I are waiting for tables, chatting.)

Coworker #1: “I need to get my three dogs in to a groomer to get their nails trimmed.”

Coworker #2: “How much does it cost?”

Coworker #1: ” $15 each.”

Coworker #3: “Per nail?!”

(Coworker #2 and I could not look at each other for fear of laughing out loud.)