(My manager has recently hired a new guy for our department. Despite the fact that he and I have the same job title, he treats me like I’m his personal secretary. I have told him many times that it’s not my responsibility to do his job, yet he keeps on doing it. I have brought it to my manager’s attention several times, but she won’t do anything, so I take matters into my own hands…)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Coworker: “Go get me some coffee.”

Me: “Uh, are you serious right now?”

Coworker: “I don’t joke about coffee!”

Me: “Are your legs broken? Have you lost the ability to walk ten feet to the break room?”

Coworker: “Isn’t it your job to do that for me?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

Coworker: “FINE. I’ll get it myself!” *stomps off*

(30 minutes later…)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]?”

Me: “What’s up?”

Coworker: “Can you make ten copies of this for me?” *drops paperwork on my desk*

Me: “No.”

Coworker: “But I’m very busy! I don’t have time to do it myself!”

Me: “You’re so busy that you can’t walk across the hall to the copier, yet you have time to walk over here and order me around?”

Coworker: “But [Manager] said that you would help me!”

Me: “Because you’re new. I’ll help you get adjusted to the company and all the procedural stuff. I know that’s difficult to get used to. Ordering me to get your coffee and make your copies? No. I am very busy too, but I still get up and make my own copies, pour my own coffee, and run my own mail to the mail room, because I am an ADULT.”

Coworker: “UGH!” *stomps off*

(An hour later…)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can I see you for a minute?”

Me: “Sure!” *I walk over to my manager’s desk*

Manager: “We need to talk about this behavior you are displaying with [Coworker].”

Me: “MY behavior?”

Manager: “You need to show him more respect. He does not feel appreciated by you.”

Me: “Excuse me? Is he serious?”

Manager: “Let’s discuss this attitude, [My Name]. It’s not nice to talk to him the way you were earlier today.”

(I am about ready to explode, but somehow keep myself in check.)

Me: “[Manager], I will start respecting him when he starts respecting ME as his coworker and equal. You can quote me on that.”

Manager: “Go back to your desk.”

(I transferred to a different department less than a month later. Best decision I ever made.)

(I am 35 years old (this will be relevant) and have entered a big chain store that sells mattresses, pillows, and other items for the bedroom, looking as I am for a new pillow. I explain to the employee what I am looking for and she leads me to a showcase of pillows.)

Employee: “These are the best pillows for your situation. They are specialized for people who sleep on their sides.”

Me: “These are filled with feathers. I am allergic to feathers. Do you have anything hypoallergenic?”

Employee: “No, no, no, these are the best for your situation.” *she goes on to explain why*

Me: “I understand that they fill a lot of my requirements but I am allergic to feathers. I cannot use these pillows.”

Employee: “You can just takes some allergy pills before bed. These will work best for you.”

(She looks at me with a prestigious look on her face.)

Employee: “So can I ring one up for you?”

Me: “No.”

(I turned and walked out of the store, hearing her tell her coworker as I exit, “Kids these days have no concern for their own well-being.”)

(I’m the customer. There’s a long line at the only register so I approach the do-it-yourself machines, all vacant. I have milk and wine. The machine bleeps and flashes when I scan the wine. The nearby manager comes over with keys and asks me for I.D.)

Me: “Seriously? My grown children are in their 20s!”

Cashier: “We are told that we can’t trust our own judgment… sorry.”

(He’s already typed in a code to override and okay the sale while I open my wallet for ID. He glances toward my wallet long enough to confirm that I am holding an ID, but he’s much too far away to read the DOB.)

Cashier: “Oh, would you like the senior citizen’s discount?”

Me: *in the drive-thru of a very popular fast food joint and trying new drink* “Hi! Can I have two large [Milkshake]s?”

Worker: “Two small?”

Me: “…large?”

Worker: “What drink?”

Me: “…[Milkshake]s?”

Worker: “Okay, your order will be at the window!” *a total pops up on a screen*

Me: “Thanks…” *looks closely to make sure it was two large and the right milkshakes before getting to the window*

Me: *a shift change happens when I get to the window and wait as someone shows up with my order*

New Worker: “Hi that’s $[total]!” *this is the right amount for two large milkshakes*

Me: *hands money over and get changes, has another five-minute wait*

New Worker: “Here are two [Milkshake]s!” *holds them out for me to take*

Me: *smiles happily to finally get them but frowns when I notice the drinks are small* “Uh, bad news; I order two large and they look too small.”

New Worker: *blinks and looks at order again to see I’m not lying about the size* “Oh, sorry!”

Me: *watch the worker run off with the small drinks and park my car with a sigh*

New Worker: *comes back eight minutes later with the right size milkshakes* “Here we go!”

Me: *glad to take them and leaves*

(This event takes place late on a Friday afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company]”

Caller: “Hello, it’s [Client]. Can I speak to [Coworker #1]?”

Me: “Certainly, [Client]. One moment please.” *calls Coworker #1*

Coworker #?: *fast-paced, high-pitched fake voice* “Hello, [My Name]!”

Me: *completely thrown* “Is [Coworker #1] there…?”

Coworker #?: *fast-paced, high-pitched fake voice* “Yes, this is [Coworker #1], ready to take your call!”

Me: *laughs uncontrollably*

Coworker #2: *normal voice, laughing* “Here he is.”

Coworker #1: “Hi. Who’s calling me?”

Me: *still laughing*