While You Were Out

| Working | May 4, 2012

She’s Full Of Crap

| Memphis, TN, USA | Working | May 4, 2012

(I was sitting at a bar and overheard the bartender talking to another coworker.)

Bartender: “Man, I’m starving. I need to go feed my feces!”

Coworker: “Your feces?”

Bartender: “Yeah, my feces!” *points to stomach*

Coworker: “You mean fetus?”

Bartender: *looks confused*

Coworker: “Fetus is your baby. Feces is your s***.”

Bartender: *completely confused*

A Trainee, Thru-And-Thru

, | Sterling, VA, USA | Working | May 3, 2012

(I am in my car, ordering at the drive-thru speaker. The employee waiting on me seems to be in training.)

Me: “Number 11 with a Coke, please.”

Employee: “Okay… uh… 11. Coke… Is that for here or to go?”

Me: “I’m… in my car?”

Employee: “Oh. Drive up to the next window, please.”

My Kind of Water Cooler

| Working | May 3, 2012

Too Bad You Can’t Ctrl-X Coworkers

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Working | May 3, 2012

Coworker: “How do I print from this program?”

Me: “Ctrl-P.”

Coworker: “What? I do what?”

Me: “Press Ctrl-P.”

Coworker: “Where is that?”

Me: “Look at the bottom left hand corner of your keyboard. Press Ctrl. Then press P.”

Coworker: “I’m looking. I can’t see a Ctrl-P button.”

Me: “No. It’s two buttons. Ctrl and P.”

Coworker: “Where’s P?!”

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