Welcome To The Performance Pad

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2017

(I work as part of a performing troupe that sometimes gets hired for private events. I am working one such event as an atmospheric performer. I need to use the bathroom between sets; however, in the bathroom, I discover I needed sanitary items and don’t have any on hand. Just at that moment however, several guests walk into the bathroom, INCREDIBLY drunk.)

Guest #1: “This party is so much fun!”

Me: *from inside the stall* “Um, excuse me… would any of you ladies happen to have a pad?”

(From outside, I hear a lot of mumbling and a purse unzipping before one is passed under the stall.)

Me: “Thank you.”

(I finish my business and walk out of the stall. As I’m washing my hands, one of the ladies turns to look at me.)

Guest #2: “Oh my gosh, are you one of the performers?!”

(I nod politely.)

Guest #2: “Oh my God, oh my God! You were fantastic!” *turns to her friends* “Guys, guys, guys! I gave one of the performers a pad!”

Guest #1: *equally drunk* “Oh my God, really?”

(I left the bathroom at this point, still hearing them all yell excitedly that “she had given one of the performers a pad!”)

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  • Jessica Marquez

    This is why I always carry pads. Never know when someone else might need one.

    • Leiko Burningbear

      Very true. I keep some stashed away in my backpack (tote it everywhere) and my car. More than once I’ve had to give one to a friend who got taken by surprise.

      A performer like the OP likely doesn’t have pockets for random stuff while in costume (I assume there’s a costume involved; usually is for entertainers). So very nice for other folks to get into the habit of always having an Emergency Pad on-hand.

      • Jessica Marquez

        I keep like 5 in my purse in a ziplock baggie. I’ve been without one and used toilet paper. It’s horrible.

        • Leiko Burningbear

          Paper towels in my case. Equally horrible. I was on an overnight 4-H trip as a teen and had to beg the bus driver to go to a store and get me some. NO ONE in the group, teen or adult, had any pads whatsoever. And the mall we stopped at to eat didn’t have a single store that sold ’em. Thus, the begging of the bus driver…who drove her empty bus down the road to get me pads while everyone was eating.

          That was when I decided to never again be without one, ’cause sometimes biology hates you and strikes at unexpected times.

          • Jessica Marquez

            That’s awful! I can’t imagine! At least they took you to get some. That would have been horrible.

          • Leiko Burningbear

            Actually I had to stay at the mall. Being a 4-H trip, it wasn’t allowed to take 4-H’ers to unauthorized places…such as the pharmacy down the street. So the bus driver went by herself. I was very thankful.

    • CommanderCorianderSalamander

      As someone who always fails to carry pads… thank you.

      • Jessica Marquez

        Haha! You’re welcome! Feel free to ask me anytime. Lol

    • Broken Haiku

      I’ve started carrying both pads and tampons because why not. But I’ve never yet to give one away. (though my MacGyver kit has a lot of plasters, bandages, pain relievers, paper tissues etc, and those get frequent use :-)).

      • Jessica Marquez

        I used to work at an elementary school, and they didn’t carry pads. I had a kid ask me for one. I’ve had friends as well, especially in high school. I know how it feels to not have one and use a ton of toilet paper. I never want anyone to suffer like that lol

    • Apologetic CheeseChomper

      That’s nice of you! Ever since I started working as a tutor to groups of kids I learned to always keep pads, tampons, band-aids and some cereal bars (sometimes kids haven’t eaten for 12+ hours) with me. It makes everyone’s life so much easier.

    • Vicemage

      One of the small things I love about my favorite gaming shop is that the ladies’ room is very well stocked with individually boxed pads in every stall, ready to grab if you need one (no quarters required). It’s so nice to see them think of something like that (and I have had to use one in the past).

      I try to keep a few in my desk at work, too, just in case I or someone else needs one.

  • divgradcurl

    Not having read the pertinent books, I don’t know who Dobby is, or what he(?) has to do with socks…but I still want to start quoting garbled lines overheard from better nerds than myself.

    • Huh? I think you’re on the wrong story, brah. But Dobby is a house-elf, so a slave forced to serve one family forever. Giving him an article of clothing frees him. Which Harry did.

      • Katy A

        I think “I gave one of the performers a pad!” reminded div of the “Master has given Dobby a sock!” line. I was confused at first, but I think that’s what’s happened here.

        • divgradcurl

          That would be the line I was thinking of! Thanks!

    • Jackie Fauxe

      Part of me wants to explain it to you, but the other part doesn’t want to ruin the experience of learning it yourself if you do decide to read the books or watch the movies.

    • Kitty

      Houseelf. Giving them clothes sets them free from slavery. Which would make doing laundry for their master super difficult…

    • Jesen

      “Guest has given a pad. Guest gave it to Performer. Performer has got a pad, Guest slid it under the door, and Performer caught it, and Performer… Performer is free!”

      • Robert Carnegie

        From my understanding of gynaecology, Performer is free till next time. Then Performer needs to get another pad.

  • Matt Westwood

    Um yeah, and so what?

  • Flami

    Haha, that’s awesome!

  • godzillahomer

    sounds like the group needs a padded room

  • Holly

    This is probably a stupid question, but what is an atmospheric performer?

  • 8000 cats

    That’s actually rather funny xD