Welcome To The Performance Pad

(I work as part of a performing troupe that sometimes gets hired for private events. I am working one such event as an atmospheric performer. I need to use the bathroom between sets; however, in the bathroom, I discover I needed sanitary items and don’t have any on hand. Just at that moment however, several guests walk into the bathroom, INCREDIBLY drunk.)

Guest #1: “This party is so much fun!”

Me: *from inside the stall* “Um, excuse me… would any of you ladies happen to have a pad?”

(From outside, I hear a lot of mumbling and a purse unzipping before one is passed under the stall.)

Me: “Thank you.”

(I finish my business and walk out of the stall. As I’m washing my hands, one of the ladies turns to look at me.)

Guest #2: “Oh my gosh, are you one of the performers?!”

(I nod politely.)

Guest #2: “Oh my God, oh my God! You were fantastic!” *turns to her friends* “Guys, guys, guys! I gave one of the performers a pad!”

Guest #1: *equally drunk* “Oh my God, really?”

(I left the bathroom at this point, still hearing them all yell excitedly that “she had given one of the performers a pad!”)