We Will Give You Back Exactly What You Paid

I work in a small, very typical English country pub. I’ve worked in service for over a decade and I’ve seen A LOT, but this was one of the more surreal. We had a party of thirty booked at lunchtime. This took up our entire restaurant. They were seated at three large tables; this is the only way for us to accommodate such a large booking, and it also makes them easier to serve as we serve by table.

This party had pre-ordered. Most people were having a roast dinner, and a few had dietary restrictions. We identified the people with the dietary requirements and away we went. The first table was served and they were very happy. The second table was served, and again, they were very happy. The third table, I ask:

Me: “Is everything all right with the food?”

One guy piped up:

Customer: “It’s like shoe leather.”

It took me a second to register this.

Me: “Is there an issue with your food?”

Customer: *Loudly* “It’s drier than the Sahara desert.”

No one else on the table had an issue or said anything negative. I apologised, took the offending plate away, and offered an alternative which was rudely dismissed. We did not remove his meal from the bill; he was rude, he was offered an alternative and turned it down, and out of thirty people — twenty-two of whom had the same meal as he did — he was the only person to complain.

The two women who split the bill were very happy. They never said a word about this guy having a bad meal. In fact, they said the food was great and left a decent tip. End of, right? Nope.

At 7:00 pm, the phone rang.

Customer: “I don’t know who paid the bill, but I want a refund! I want all my money back. The food was awful!”

He ranted on and on. When his request to get a refund on a bill he didn’t even pay was declined, he threatened us with being shut down by Environmental Health as the spare toilet roll in the gents was dusty. Funnily enough, we didn’t get shut down and he didn’t get his refund.