Wallpaper Over The Cracks In Their Understanding

It is early in the morning and I’ve just arrived at work. Because I overslept, I have had to skip my morning coffee and I’m an absolute zombie without it. A customer approaches me and hands me a colour sample.

Customer: “I want six rolls of wallpaper in this colour but you don’t have it on your shelves. Could you mix it for me?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: *Brain finally engaging* “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understood you quite right. Could you ask me that again?” 

Customer: “I want wallpaper in this colour. Mix it for me!”

Me: “You want me to mix wallpaper for you? Like paint? Put it in the machine, add some dye, shake it? Like that?” 

Customer: “Well, I’m sure you know how it works a lot better than me, but yes. Mix it.”

Me: “One moment, please. Just wait right here.” 

I walk over to my coworker and point the customer out to him. We have a very friendly relationship and often joke around together. 

Me: “Please go help them? I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with their level of stupid before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.”

My coworker just grinned and walked their way. For some reason, he seems to enjoy dealing with the idiots; I think he just finds them funny. I walked off to go get my coffee and went to my own department. When I walked past the wallpaper department again, my coworker was still trying to explain that wallpaper cannot be mixed and even his patience seemed to be slipping a little bit. He later told me that the department manager and the store manager had to get involved before the customer finally opted to get some paint mixed instead of wallpaper.