Using Black Ops To Get The Game

(I’m the manager on duty. I’m working in the back while my employee takes care of customers up front. It’s July but we’ve had a lot of people interested in reserving the new Call of Duty game that will be out in November.)

Employee: “This guy just called and wanted to know if we have Call of Duty: Black Ops 3. I told him it won’t be out until November.”

Me: “Okay.”

Employee: “Well, he asked if I’d sneak him a copy if he gave me $200.”

Me: “Seriously?”

Employee: “Yeah. I told him no, but he wants to talk to a manager.”

Me: “Wow. He’s seriously on hold for that? Wait, are you sure it’s not [Disgruntled Former Employee who’s prank called us before]?”

Employee: “I’m pretty sure it’s not him.”

Me: *picks up the phone* “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I was just talking to your associate, [Employee], and he told me that I could get Black Ops 3 if I gave him $200.”

Me: “I don’t believe at all that [Employee] would have said that. Besides, that game doesn’t come out until November.”

Customer: “Well, he said that he’d sell it to me for $200.”

Me: “I can assure you that he did not tell you that. Even if I hypothetically believed you, it doesn’t change the fact that the game will not be released until November and we won’t physically have it in the store until then. So, is there anything I can actually help you with?”

Customer: “Well, what if you sold me the game and I gave you $200?”

Me: “No. Absolutely not.”

Customer: “But I’d give you $200. No one has to know.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, [Employee] said he’d sell it to me. Just put him back on the phone and you can listen in secretly and you’ll see.”

Me: “That’s not going to happen. He didn’t tell you that, and we don’t even have the game.”

(The customer starts trying to interrupt me at this point, and so far I’ve stayed remarkably calm, but I’m starting to lose my patience.)

Me: “I really don’t have time for this, so if you have a real question or something that I can actually help you with, then please feel free to call back, but right now I’m done with this conversation.” *click*