Trust Us, There’s Only Ketchup In Those Packets

We have a sign up next to our menu at the drive-thru.

Sign: “Condiments available upon request.”

At least once a shift, I get a customer interaction that starts with me hearing over the headset:

Customer: “That’s disgusting! Why would a restaurant feel the need to give those out?!”

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. What can I get for—?”

Customer: “You’re disgusting! Why would [Fast Food Place] be encouraging—”

Me: “Oh, and condiments are available upon request. That’s condiments, like ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “…Cheeseburger meal with a Coke… please.”

Passenger: “Haha! You thought it said ‘condoms’!” 

Customer: “Shut up!“