Time To Appoint A Different Voice

(I work in a government call centre. Occasionally customers have appointees to speak and handle their affairs for them. I receive a call from a man who is clearly inebriated, but we finally get through security questions. I realise he has an appointee, so I am unable to make the changes to his account that he requests.)

Me: “I am sorry, [Customer]; I cannot change that information without your appointee’s permission.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. She is with me now; I’ll put her on.”

(A moment later I hear voice say, “Hello,” but it is clearly still the customer.)

Me: “Hello, who is this, please?”

Customer: “I am [Appointee]; I am the appointee.”

Me: “[Customer], I know that is you. Is the appointee really available for me to speak to?”

Customer: “Yes, I am the appointee!”

Me: “[Customer]…”

Customer: “Yes? *pause as he realises what he just said* “Who am I speaking with? My name is [Appointee] and I am an appointee!”

(After several failed attempts to speak to his appointee failed, I had to end the call. He didn’t even bother disguising his voice in any way!)