Holy Moly Guacamole

, , , , , | Right | July 22, 2018

(I am running the frontline, rolling burritos for customers, when a family comes up. Of the five, four are very quick to order and get rung up. The fifth, the mother, takes the time to ask how everything is prepared before asking for it on her burrito. Assuming she might be somebody from corporate, I explain, to the best of my knowledge, how the food is made. She gets to the end of the line and asks:)

Mother: “Do you have any guacamole?”

Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like some?”

Mother: *disgusted look on her face* “Do you have any guacamole that’s without any avocado?”

Me: *puzzled* “No, our guacamole is made with avocado.”

Mother: *clearly getting frustrated* “Well, can you go look in the back?”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any guacamole that is made without avocado. I mean, guacamole is, like, 90% avocado, so maybe you’re thinking of something else?”

(I try to stay patient, especially since a line is building behind her.)

Mother: *glaring* “How would you know how guacamole was made? You aren’t in the kitchen, so it’s not like you know how to make any of this food!”

(To humor her, and to finish her order so I can tackle the growing line, I go through the swinging doors to the kitchen, count to ten, and return.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any guacamole back there without any avocados.”

Mother: “That’s okay. I don’t mind having avocado in my guac, anyway; can I get some?”

(I finished her order and passed her onto the cashier. I couldn’t be any happier to see a customer leave.)

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