This Elevator Hater Is Irate, And Stuff Is Gonna Escalate

I work in a hotel. There ain’t nothing like people insisting that they get a specific room and then losing their s*** when they don’t get it. This usually happens with wedding parties — like a mother-in-law screeching and swearing because the bride isn’t right next to her room. But occasionally, there are your regular ol’ guests who like to stomp their feet and whine.

I’m certainly not opposed to giving people the rooms they want. Everyone wants something different — near the elevator, end of the hallway, far from the ice machine, ground floor, near an exit, closest to the lobby, next to the staircase, window looking out front, window looking out back, etc. We try to accommodate people the best we can, and we do pre-assign rooms to our regulars. If someone is there at least once a week, we tend to find a room they like and stick with that. People enjoy getting the same room they got last time, which is a bit silly because they’re all the same. Creatures of habit, I suppose.

But sometimes we’re not able to accommodate everyone’s various requests. Most people just say, “Aw, bummer. Do you have another room close to that one?” Some people, however, take that as an opportunity to throw a tantrum.

[Guest] comes to the desk to check in. Right away, he’s snotty and rude to me. Okay, a**hole, you’re getting the room right across from the elevator. Everything is fine until he comes back down to the desk with his luggage cart two hours later and throws his keys on the desk.

Guest: “You put me near the elevator. Give me a different room.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “I told you to give me a different room.”

Me: “We are sold out tonight. There’s not really anywhere to move you.”

Guest: “You’re telling me that everyone is already checked in or that everyone coming in tonight already has a room assigned to them? No? Well then, you can give me another room.”

I’m gonna be honest with y’all; I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes at him.

Me: “I can’t just give you someone else’s room.”

Guest: “I don’t care. It’s not my problem. I booked this room over a month ago. This shouldn’t be an issue.”

Me: “Yes, sir, you did book this room a month ago. But you booked a room and not a room number.”

Guest: “Well, I stay here all the time, and [General Manager] always puts me at the end of the hallway.”

Not one person who pulls out the “I stay here all the time” tactic has been telling the truth. People who actually stay at the hotel all the time don’t say that. Why? Because we see them all the time, we welcome them by name, and they’re on a first-name basis with all of the staff. They’re respectful. We don’t need a blanket statement about how often they stay.

And people forget that we can look up their past stays on the computer, apparently. I’ve never seen that dude before today, and his stay history tells me he stayed one night over a year ago. Of course. I’m not surprised.

Me: “Okay, well, the general manager, like the rest of us, will accommodate people as much as we can, but it’s not always possible. The manager works mornings. Of course, there are going to be more room options earlier in the day. It’s late and very busy tonight, and I don’t have the room you want. Did you step into the room?”

Guest: “There were people congregating in the hallway. Use your common sense, for God’s sake! Do you know anyone who wants to be near the elevator? Huh? Huh?! You don’t put guests next to an elevator. That’s common sense.”

Me: “Yes, actually, we do have people request rooms close to the elevator. Everyone has different preferences and needs. And like I said, we are sold out.”

And this jerk just stands there and stares at me like he hates my guts. I’m done with the intimidation tactics. I take the opportunity to silently stare back at the guest just as intensely until he decides to use his words.

Guest: “Put me in a different room.”

Me: “I’ve told you we’re sold out. Have you stepped into the room?”

Guest: “There were people talking in the hallway.”

Me: “Hey. I am asking you if. You. Stepped. Into. The. Room.”

Guest: “NO, I DIDN’T GO INTO THE ROOM! I DIDN’T GO INTO THE ROOM, I DIDN’T GO INTO THE ROOM, I DIDN’T GO INTO THE ROOM! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!”

Me: “Hey! Stop it right now or I will have you escorted off the property. You do not speak to me that way, do you understand?”

More staring ensues. He finally breaks eye contact.

Me: “You want another room? Fine, you can have another room.”

Oh, dear reader, he was originally in the room right next to the elevator on the third floor. I switched some things around and made him new keys for the room right next to the elevator on the second floor. Not only would he hear the elevator but also the stomping of everyone above him. I threw his new keys on the counter just like he did to me, and I didn’t say a word. He silently left.

And he never came back down to complain! I don’t know why. He really didn’t go into the first room, so that was put back into our inventory.

During this confrontation, I noticed someone lingering discreetly over by the coffee machine. You can tell the difference between a guest who wants to stay just to witness the drama and a guest who stays in case the a**hole gets more aggressive. This guy was waiting to see if I needed help. I’m a petite woman, so I do appreciate kind guests who will stick around and step in if a situation turns excessively aggressive or violent.

I didn’t talk to the guy, but the next day, my manager said the nice dude stopped at the desk to tell him about what a total a**hole [Guest] was and how I handled the situation exceptionally well. He said he didn’t want me to get in trouble if the guy complained about me, and he wanted to make sure the manager knew the whole situation.

Well, [Guest], I hope you got zero sleep. Oh, the third-floor elevator room? The one directly above [Guest]’s new room? Later on that night, I put a family with three toddlers in that room. Worth it.