Things Won’t Be All Right In A Minute

(In the county I live in, it’s customary for entire conversations to consist solely of, “You all right?” “Yeah, you?” “Yeah,” to the extent where there have been songs written about it. A customer in her 60s walks into the store. My coworker is a student from a posh area up country, studying in the local university.)

Coworker: “You all right, there? How can I help?”

Customer: “You mean, ‘Good morning?’ ‘All right’ is a greeting only used by these backwards inbreds!”

(An entire store of “backwards inbreds” turned to look at the woman, and stared at her the entire time she was waiting for my coworker to go and fetch her contact lenses from the contact lens department, which she was too lazy to do herself.)