Thievery Abhors A Vacuum

(A man approaches the customer service desk saying he received a vacuum as a housewarming gift, but it stopped working after a few days. Keep in mind that he started this conversation stating it was a gift.)

Me: “Okay. If you’d like to exchange or—”

Customer: “No, I paid cash. Just give me my money back.”

(Red flags start flying, so I punch in the code to call a manager.)

Me: “I’d need the receipt to see that you purchased this with cash. When did you buy it?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “That’s okay. The box has a serial number. I can look it up for you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

(I go to the computer and input the serial number and UPC. This vacuum was just unloaded from our truck yesterday and hasn’t gone through any sales register. I go back to my register and punch in the code for a manager for a second time.)

Me: “One moment, sir. I’ve found what I need; I just need to get a manager.”

(I take the vacuum off the countertop and put it beside me, behind the register.)

Customer: “For what? Give me my money.”

(The manager arrives.)

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Me: “He wants cash back, but doesn’t have the receipt. I pulled up the product information on the computer.”

Manager: *looks at the computer, at me, and at the man* “I can give you a store card.”

Customer: “I need cash.”

Manager: “That I cannot do. But like I said, I can give you a store card for the value.”

Customer: “I don’t want a f****** store card. I paid cash. Why is that so hard to understand? Are you all retarded?!”

Manager: “All I can give you is a store card.”

Customer: “Fine, give it to me.”

Manager: “Okay! I also need your ID.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Manager: “The system requires an ID for non-receipt returns.”

Customer: “I’m not giving you s***.”

Manager: “Then I cannot do anything for you. Please leave.”

Customer: “For what?”

Manager: “For causing a disturbance with your foul language and harassing my associate… and attempt to defraud a company.”

Customer: “F*** you.”

Manager: *smiles* “I’ll just contact the police, then.”

(The man ran from the store. We contacted the police anyway and got some images from security. He was caught trying to do the same thing at a drugstore a few days later.)