There Has Only Ever Been One Lion Ever

(A woman comes to me with a copy of the movie “Secret of the Moonacre” from the $2.99 bin.)

Customer: “What part of the Narnia series is this from?”

(I haven’t seen the movies yet, but I have read all the Narnia books, and I know that this is a completely separate story. You know, aside from the fact that it doesn’t say, “Narnia,” ANYWHERE on the box.)

Me: “I haven’t yet seen that movie, but I know it isn’t a Narnia story.”

Customer: “But it has a lion on the front.”

(Indeed, there is a black-furred, red-eyed lion on the cover, clearly — to anyone who has seen or read from the Narnia series — not Aslan. Giving her the benefit of not being as familiar with it, I explain:)

Me: “I know for a fact that the only Narnia adaptations were the four done by the BBC in the 80s and the three films by Walden Media released in the last decade, and that this isn’t part of either of them.”

Customer: “But then, why is there a lion here?”

Me: *still being polite* “I don’t know why there’s a lion, since I haven’t seen that movie, but I’ve read all the Narnia books, and I read the synopsis for that movie on the back of the box, and I can tell you that it has nothing to do with Narnia.”

(She still didn’t look convinced, so, as nicely as I can, I listed off the names of all seven Narnia stories, so that she would know that “Secret of the Moonacre” isn’t one of them. She still looked a little unsure, but she bought the DVD and moved on.)