The Only Thing Thicker Than Your Hair Is The Hairdresser’s Skull

I have really thick hair; at least four different stylists have told me I have the thickest hair they’ve ever cut. I usually wear it short, but one year, I decided to grow it out for a change and only got the occasional maintenance trim. I was in college a few hours away from my hometown (and my usual hairdresser), so I visited a discount salon that several of my friends had visited and had really good experiences with.

Hairdresser: “What are you looking for today?”

Me: “I’m growing my hair out, so I just want to neaten the ends a bit and get my hair thinned.”

Hairdresser: “Sure, I can add some layers.”

Me: “No, thanks, I’m keeping the style pretty simple for now. I just want it thinned.”

Hairdresser: “Most people, when they say they want their hair ‘thinned,’ they’re thinking of layers.”

Me: “No, I want it thinned, like with those scissors that have a comb on one side?”

Hairdresser: “That takes a lot of body out of your hair. A lot of people are disappointed when they asked for their hair thinned and I do that.”

Me: “I’ve literally never had a haircut in my life where I didn’t get it thinned. My hair is starting to poof out into this awkward triangle, and it looks bad on top of feeling heavy and uncomfortable. Trust me. I know what it will look like, and that’s what I want.”

Hairdresser: “Okay.”

She gave me layers. I was fed up at that point, so I paid and left. Within a month, my hair looked and felt so ridiculous that I decided I needed to get it cut again. I went to a salon that was accepting walk-ins. I made sure the hairdresser and I were on the same page before I would agree to an appointment, and I told her the story of the other salon. She was immediately indignant.

Hairdresser #2: “These layers are making your hair thicker. What was she even thinking?!”