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The Long And Short Of It Is: No

, , , | Right | November 29, 2022

A girl comes into my salon. I take her to my seat and put the cape around her.

Me: “So, how are we going to cut it?”

Customer: “Can you cut it so it’s longer?”

Me: “You mean like hair extensions?”

Customer: “No, not fake hair. Can you cut it so it’s longer?”

Me: “No, but I can cut it so it’s shorter.”

She glares at me with the stare of Medusa.

Customer: “Ugh, forget it. Men can’t cut hair!”

She ripped off the cape and stormed off. All the other clients in the salon looked just as confused as I did.

Does This Person Run The Other Salons That Shut Down, Too?

, , , , , , | Working | September 27, 2022

My son wants a haircut, but all three of the salons in town have closed for various reasons. A new salon opens up, so I call the number on their sign. I’m not surprised when they don’t answer. I AM surprised when the nice phone lady informs me that the voicemail isn’t set up.

I call again the next day. The phone rings once and then goes to voicemail, a pretty strong sign my call was declined. 

Several hours later, I receive a call from the salon’s number.

Me: “Hello?”

Employee: “Hello?”

Me: “Yes? Hello?”

Not the most useful response.

Employee: “I… I have a missed call… from this number?”

Me: “Are you the salon?”

Employee: “Oh! Yes… I thought you were a scam call. I don’t answer calls from out-of-town area codes.”

Now, this IS a small town, but it’s a very hot tourist destination, and a lot of Alaska’s population are recent migrants from other states, so my out-of-town area code is in no way unusual.

Thinking I am being helpful, I say:

Me: “I see. Well, I would have left a message, but your voicemail isn’t set up yet.”

Employee: “Oh… no… I don’t really do messages… on my phone.”

Me: “So… can I get an appointment?”

When I went to the appointment, nobody was there!

Don’t Like Your Style

, , , , , , | Learning Working | July 1, 2022

My longtime stylist has started teaching at a cosmetology school. She asks if I would be willing to be a “hair model” for students to observe her technique in exchange for a free cut and style. I agree and come by the school at the specified time.

I have curly hair that I normally keep very long, but I have decided that I want to go shoulder-length. [Stylist] introduces me to her class and has me take a seat.

Stylist: “What are we doing today, [My Name]?”

Me: “I’d like to go shoulder-length with some layers, please.”

Stylist: “Are you sure? It may not work with your curly hair.”

Me: “I’m sure. I want to try something different.”

Stylist: “Okay, if you say so.”

She starts cutting while talking to her students about technique, customer preferences, and the like.

Stylist: “And sometimes customers ask for something that may not work for their type of hair or face shape. But we do it anyway, even if we think it won’t look good!”

Me: “It’s my hair. If I don’t like it, it’ll grow.”

Stylist: “See what I mean, guys?”

Her students chuckle. I roll my eyes. She finishes up and turns me around.

Stylist: “And you’re done! See, class, not as hard as you think it is.”

She has barely taken any length off and there are no layers. My hair is still several inches below my shoulders.

Me: “This isn’t what I asked for.”

Stylist: “Sure it is.”

Me: “I asked for shoulder-length with layers, and this is not it.”

Stylist: “If you don’t like it, then go somewhere else.”

A couple of students let out an “Ooooh”.

Me: “Wow.”

I walk out. I go to another salon a couple of weeks later. A different stylist does exactly what I ask for, and it looks fabulous! I decide to start going to her, instead.

About a year later, I get a text from my former stylist.

Stylist: “Hey, it’s been a while. Can I set up an appointment for you?”

Me: “Remember when you told me to go somewhere else if I didn’t like my hair?”

Stylist: “Oh, I have to be like that with students. I didn’t mean it.”

Me: “I have shoulder-length hair and a new stylist. Don’t contact me again.”

I went to my new stylist for several years until she moved out of the area.

This Goes Salon And On And On

, , , , | Right | June 17, 2022

I’m a male stylist in my friend’s hair salon. Her last name is a man’s first name — for example, Michael. The name of the salon is Michael & Company.

One morning, I have an appointment at 9:00 and I’m in early to get myself ready for the day. I’m also the only one there at the time. About fifteen or twenty minutes before 9:00, a woman comes storming in.

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for Michael!”

Me: “We don’t have a Michael here.”

Customer: “Well, I know Michael and I thought you were him. You’re not Michael & Co?”

Me: “I’m [My Name]. Do you need an appointment or something?”

Customer: “I want a haircut now!”

Me: “Well, I have someone on her way, and right now I’m booked for the next month. I can book you then. Otherwise, you can check back in an hour or so to see if the others can get you today.”

Customer: “No, I want you to do it today!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m booked for the month. There’s no way I can get you until then.”

Customer: “Well, in the time we’ve stood here talking, you could’ve already washed it!”

Me: “That’s true, but then my client with an appointment would have to wait. So, I can book you next month, or you can check with one of the others in about an hour.”

She stood there for a couple of seconds, staring at me, and then she left, slamming the door behind her. Then, she SAT IN HER CAR waiting to see if I really had someone coming.

Of course, my client was two minutes late!

Being Colorfully Vague

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2022

I work as a receptionist in a hair salon. As part of my job, I have to book appointments. We have to get detailed information about what the client wants to get done to make sure we book for the appropriate amount of time. This scenario plays out several times a week as I am booking appointments over the phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Salon]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I’d like to book an appointment for color.”

Me: “Okay, and color-wise, what are you specifically looking to get done?”

Client: “I want to get my hair colored.”

Me: “Right, but what specific type of color are you wanting?”

Client:Color! I want my hair colored!

Me: “Okay, so highlights, balayage, all over color…?”

Client: “Ugh, highlights.”

I will never understand how people can’t figure out that we need specifics, especially after I ask specifically what they want. It never fails.