Bangs Goes That Sale

| UT, USA | Working | May 24, 2017

(I had a fantastic experience at a high end salon a month-and-a-half or so prior and got a short, asymmetrical cut that I like a lot. The hairdresser who did it suggested it when I didn’t know what I wanted and agreed to my alteration of it — a straight fringe across my forehead. I show up for my appointment and the woman who had done my hair the first time is no longer employed there. I agree to a new hairdresser.)

Me: “I really just want this cleaned up a bit. It’s grown out some and I really need my bangs cut straight across again.”

Hairdresser: “This haircut will look horrible with your bangs cut straight across. I’m not going to do it.”

Me: “Just trust me here; the last girl who did my hair was hesitant to do it, too, but I promise that it looks really cute with my face shape and does look good with this haircut.”

Hairdresser: “I’m not going to do it. I’ll trim your hair, but this cut will look awful if I cut your bangs.”

Me: “I know that it’s different than what you usually do with a haircut like this, but I really want my bangs cut straight.”

Hairdresser: “No. I’m not going to cut them.”

(She ended up not cutting my bangs at all and I had to do them at home! I haven’t been back to that salon since.)

Don’t Lose Your Head (And Shoulders)

| USA | Right | May 17, 2017

(There is a woman in line in front of me. I’m in a hair supply store that sells a variety of things including several brands of shampoo. In fact, there is a whole aisle just for shampoo. The following happens between the person at the front and the customer in front of me:)

Customer: “Where is the purple shampoo?”

Worker: “Well, ma’am, the shampoo aisle is right over there.” *points to shampoo*

Customer: “I know that but I’m looking for a certain one.”

Worker: “Okay, ma’am, do you know the brand?”

Customer: “It’s the purple one.”

Worker: “Well, there is no brand called ‘purple.’ At least, we don’t carry it if there is.”

Customer: “I JUST WANT THE PURPLE SHAMPOO! WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT?”

Worker: “Okay, ma’am, could you describe it to me so maybe I can help?”

Customer: “THE PURPLE ONE! MY HAIRDRESSER SAID GET THE PURPLE ONE!”

Worker: “Ma’am, there are many shampoos we have that are purple in color.”

Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID? I’M ASKING FOR THE PURPLE SHAMPOO! P-U-R-P-L-E! PURPLE!”

(This goes on for a while before the worker goes and gets a random shampoo that is obviously purple in color and sells it to the woman. Then I walk up to the register.)

Me: “Yes, I need the purple shampoo.”

Trying To Hang Up At The Appointed Time

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Working | April 24, 2017

(I call up the local hairdressing salon.)

Me: “Hi! I was wondering if you have any available times today.”

Receptionist: “No, sorry. We can fit you in tomorrow morning, if you’d like?”

Me: “No, that’s okay. I only have today free, so I was just trying my luck. Thanks anyway!”

Receptionist: “How about 9:00 am?”

Me: “What, today?”

Receptionist: “Tomorrow.”

Me: “No, I can’t make it tomorrow. Thanks anyway! Bye then-”

Receptionist: “9:30?”

Me: “No… Bye for now-”

Receptionist: “10:00 am?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Receptionist: “Can you hold the line, please?”

Me: *mostly curious to see why she would want me to hold, since this discussion is going nowhere* “Okay, sure.”

(I hold for a few minutes, and then the boss comes on the line.)

Boss: “Hi. We cannot fit you in today.”

Me: “Yes, I realise that.”

Boss: “We do not have free time.”

Me: “I know… I understood that when it was first explained.”

Boss: “We can fit you in tomorrow?”

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m only free today. Anyway, bye for now-”

Boss: “Well, before you hang up, I’d just like to let you know we are open tomorrow.”

Me: “Um, that’s great, thanks. Bye now!”

Boss: “Just in case you didn’t know. So give us a call if you want to come in tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, bye!”

(I hung up before she could say it AGAIN. They must have been incredibly desperate to book appointments for the following day!)

Conditioned For A Law-Suit

| Mumbai, India | Right | April 17, 2017

(I am getting my monthly haircut when a well-dressed young female customer walks in.)

Customer: *to Receptionist, extremely nicely* “I need to get my hair straightened today as well. I have a engagement party to attend. Can the stylist cover me now?”

Receptionist: “We are booked for the next two hours, but if you come by then, we can help you.”

Customer: “Oh, but I need to leave in an hour. Can you accommodate?”

Stylist: *walks over* “It will take three hours for the straightening and two days for the hair to settle.”

Customer: *slightly annoyed* “Oh, can’t you do in some super fast way?”

Stylist: *obviously tired, but politely* “No, ma’am. But tell you what, we should give you a quick conditioning and you can come by in the evening for the treatment.”

Customer: *a little more than slightly annoyed* “How much would that be?”

Receptionist: “200 rupees.” *about $5*

Customer: *suddenly going back to nice mode* “Can you give it to me as complimentary? I promise to be a regular.”

(After a five-minute back-and-forth, the receptionist gives in and assigns a shampoo girl for a free conditioning.)

Customer: *sweetest voice ever* “Thank you. I promise I will be a regular and spend lots of money here.”

(I am just about done and go in for a quick rinse next to the female customer. I have my eyes closed when suddenly:)

Customer: “OWWW. THAT WATER IS TOO HOT!” *gets up splashing water over me, which is obviously not hot*

Shampoo Girl: “Sorry, ma’am. I will adjust it down.”

Customer: “OWWW, STILL IT’S STILL TOO HOT!”

(This cycle goes on two-three times until…)

Customer: *yelling at receptionist* “YOU HAVE INCOMPETENT PEOPLE HERE. MY DAD IS A LAWYER. I WILL DRAG YOU TO COURT.”

(A senior stylist steps in…)

Customer: *eyes rolled up, continuously mumbling to herself* “I will drag these people to court. My dad is a lawyer.”

(I complete my haircut and am waiting for my wife to pick me up.)

Me: *to Shampoo Girl, who is shivering outside* “Don’t worry; she’s crazy.”

(Next month, when I came back, I heard the crazy customer tried to pull off the same stunt in other salons in the area and is effectively banned from all three upscale chains across the country.)

You’re My Number One

| White Marsh, MD, USA | Right | April 13, 2017

Me: “Hi, [Client]! How are you today?”

Client: “I’m good. I just need to tinkle.”

Me: “Okay… Well, the restroom is through the salon and just past the shampoo bowls.”

Client: “Thanks! I’m going to think of you!” *walks away*

Me: *to coworker* “Please tell me she didn’t just say what I think she did.”

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