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Being Colorfully Vague

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2022

I work as a receptionist in a hair salon. As part of my job, I have to book appointments. We have to get detailed information about what the client wants to get done to make sure we book for the appropriate amount of time. This scenario plays out several times a week as I am booking appointments over the phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Salon]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I’d like to book an appointment for color.”

Me: “Okay, and color-wise, what are you specifically looking to get done?”

Client: “I want to get my hair colored.”

Me: “Right, but what specific type of color are you wanting?”

Client:Color! I want my hair colored!

Me: “Okay, so highlights, balayage, all over color…?”

Client: “Ugh, highlights.”

I will never understand how people can’t figure out that we need specifics, especially after I ask specifically what they want. It never fails.

The Only Thing Thicker Than Your Hair Is The Hairdresser’s Skull

, , , , , | Working | December 16, 2021

I have really thick hair; at least four different stylists have told me I have the thickest hair they’ve ever cut. I usually wear it short, but one year, I decided to grow it out for a change and only got the occasional maintenance trim. I was in college a few hours away from my hometown (and my usual hairdresser), so I visited a discount salon that several of my friends had visited and had really good experiences with.

Hairdresser: “What are you looking for today?”

Me: “I’m growing my hair out, so I just want to neaten the ends a bit and get my hair thinned.”

Hairdresser: “Sure, I can add some layers.”

Me: “No, thanks, I’m keeping the style pretty simple for now. I just want it thinned.”

Hairdresser: “Most people, when they say they want their hair ‘thinned,’ they’re thinking of layers.”

Me: “No, I want it thinned, like with those scissors that have a comb on one side?”

Hairdresser: “That takes a lot of body out of your hair. A lot of people are disappointed when they asked for their hair thinned and I do that.”

Me: “I’ve literally never had a haircut in my life where I didn’t get it thinned. My hair is starting to poof out into this awkward triangle, and it looks bad on top of feeling heavy and uncomfortable. Trust me. I know what it will look like, and that’s what I want.”

Hairdresser: “Okay.”

She gave me layers. I was fed up at that point, so I paid and left. Within a month, my hair looked and felt so ridiculous that I decided I needed to get it cut again. I went to a salon that was accepting walk-ins. I made sure the hairdresser and I were on the same page before I would agree to an appointment, and I told her the story of the other salon. She was immediately indignant.

Hairdresser #2: “These layers are making your hair thicker. What was she even thinking?!”

His Entitlement Needs A Trim

, , | Right | December 15, 2021

A very old man comes into the barbershop.

Customer: “I need a haircut now.”

Barber: “I’ll be with you after I am done with this customer.”

Customer: “No, see me now. Kick that guy out of your chair, I shouldn’t have to wait!”

Barber: “You want me to stop this guy mid-haircut? Why should I?”

Customer: “Because I might die!”

Even With A Migraine, You’re A Better Customer Than Most

, , , | Right | November 10, 2021

I desperately need a haircut, but the day I plan to go in, I get a rotten migraine. It isn’t until the later afternoon that it goes away and I walk into the salon. There is just one woman there.

Me: “I’d like a haircut, please.”

Hairdresser: *Long pause* “Oh… Well…”

I finally really look around. The place is empty, the floors are clean, and she’s alone. The penny drops.

Me: “Oh, my God, you’re closing in like two minutes, aren’t you?”

Hairdresser: “Yes, we are.”

Me: “I’m such a dork. Sorry about that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Hairdresser: *Relieved* “Thank you!”

I came the next day at the right time — when they were open. She recognized me and was very nice. She told me that so many people throw a fit and she was so happy I wasn’t one of them!

Hairdressers Who Listen Are So Hot

, , , | Working | August 30, 2021

This took place during the heatwave during the summer of 2018. I tend to run hot naturally. I was working in a public space with no AC, and I was tired of having my shoulder-length hair dripping with sweat at the end of every shift.

When I was younger, I used to be in a number of alternative subcultures. I have had every single weird hairstyle my very thin and fine hair will support and I’ve had every unnatural hair colour that can be bought. All the hair experimentation ended up damaging my hair a fair amount, so by the time I hit my thirties, I just stopped messing around with it and let it grow out in my natural mousy brown, cut straight with bangs. It’s not too exciting, but it’s comfortable and practical.

The summer of 2018, however, was straight-up torment, and I figured that it might help a little if I got an undercut — long on top of the head and buzzed really short on the sides and back.

I went to my usual hairdresser, sat down, and explained to her how I wanted it done. She gave me a strange look.

Hairdresser: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Absolutely. It’s just too warm for long hair right now, but I’d like to keep a little of it, you know?”

Hairdresser: “I’m not sure I’m comfortable giving you this kind of haircut.”

I get it. My wild youth is over, I work as a librarian, and I dress more conservatively than I used to, so I probably don’t look like an undercut kind of person, so I tried to reassure her.

Me: “Don’t worry. I used to be a punk rocker. I’ve actually had this hairstyle before, only then, I had it dyed in red and black tiger stripes and I used ungodly amounts of hairspray to keep it up.”

The hairdresser gave me an even stranger look.

Hairdresser: “No, I don’t think so. This won’t suit you at all. I’m just going to give you the usual trim, okay?”

Me: “Actually, I’d really like the undercut. I don’t care if other people think I’m pretty or not; I just want to feel comfortable in this heat.”

Hairdresser: “But it’s going to look horrible on you! What if you don’t like it?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just hair. It’ll grow out.”

Hairdresser: “No. I don’t think you should have that hairstyle. It’ll make your face look fat. I’m going to give you a trim.”

And that is how I ended up changing hairdressers!