That’s One Fabuloso Cup Of Coffee

, , , , , | Friendly | June 18, 2017

(I volunteer at the hospital in the department that my mom works in. Her job involves her mostly talking on the phone and typing on the computer. Her coworker’s desk is not too far from my mom’s and I’m putting together a chart when I overhear this. Note that this is not violating any HIPAA policies, since the woman on the phone is not a patient at that hospital, and it’s more of a personal phone call since she’s best friends with the woman’s daughter.)

Coworker: “Hey, how’s [Best Friend]? *the woman says something on the phone* “Wait, what?” *the woman then repeats herself* “You made coffee out of bleach and Fabuloso?!” *at this point, I’m all ears* “I’m going to put you on hold; I’m calling poison control.”

(She then puts her on hold and starts to call poison control. At this point, my mom is even curious.)

Mom: “Who was that?”

Coworker: “That’s [Best Friend]’s mom. Apparently she found that bucket of bleach and Fabuloso and thought it was water and decided to make coffee with it.”

Mom: “But didn’t you write ‘Do not drink’ on it? And why is she calling you and not [Best Friend]?

Coworker: “I did, but she didn’t read it and she didn’t want [Best Friend] to find out.”

(Turned out, my mom was helping her coworker and the best friend paint her mother’s house and they needed to clean the walls. Even though you’re not supposed to, they mixed bleach and Fabuloso which made it easier to clean the walls with. They placed it under the sink so they could use it again that weekend coming up and apparently the mom thought it was water. After talking to poison control, it took them a while to tell them that it was the mother who made the coffee herself and not them, and that said mother was not suicidal. Luckily it wasn’t fatal and all she had was just a headache, but she did say that was the best coffee she ever had. Yes, my mom’s coworker told her friend what happened after she called poison control and went to go check on her mother. To this day, my mom always jokes that the Fabuloso made the coffee delicioso.)

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  • Blaine Wheeler

    What an idiot… no matter what you THINK it is, drinking something you find under the sink is always a bad idea…

    • Pamela Drees

      Not to mention. . .who stores water under the sink??

      • heymoe2001

        Exactly what I was thinking. Who would look for water there? What the heck is wrong with the SINK?

        • Siirenias

          An RPG character.

        • VillyJean

          To be fair, my apartment complex has places at the office and all the laundry centers to get filtered water, because our tap water is not really good for consumption.

          While I don’t store any under the sink, there could be a legitimate reason why she wasn’t using tap water.

        • datawog

          My nana would keep gallon jugs of water under the bathroom sink. It was for flushing the toilet when the power went out and her well pump wasn’t working.

    • Isa Frostborn

      Yeah, that’s generally something most people learn as toddlers…

    • error404

      I’m thinking maybe the mother has dementia or something and that they may have stored the mixture in a water jug looking container but it still would have a very strong chemical smell. My friend’s grandmother accidentally thought a bottle of lemon pine sol was lemon juice and mixed into a lemon cake once. She was 84 at the time.

      • Anne

        The story says it was in a bucket…

  • Logcabinlv

    I don’t understand. She had a sink. The story takes place in Ohio. Presumably she had running water. Why would you take a bucket–a cleaning bucket–From under the sink and use the contents to make coffee when you have running water right there? Is the tap water where she lives unsafe?

    • Erin

      Maybe the tap water where she lives just tastes gross? I used to live in CA and I hated the tap water there, and would always opt for bottled water if I had it. Here in CO the tap water is MUCH better. That still doesn’t excuse whatever ‘logic’ was going through her head though when she decided to open up a bottle from under the sink and think drinking it is a good idea. Isn’t it somewhat common to store cleaners under the sink?

      • Logcabinlv

        It IS indeed common to store cleaners under sinks, but read the story again. It wasn’t a bottle she got the liquid from, it was a bucket. A cleaning bucket, presumably wide open, under the sink. And bleach is pretty smelly. The thing that probably saved her is that bleach loses potency when exposed to the open air.

  • chaotik_lord

    Yeah, I just don’t see how someone would use something under the sink to make coffee, or a bucket of water, even, to make coffee, since buckets aren’t sanitary. How would someone like that have survived to adulthood and beyond?

    Something isn’t right here. And she didn’t want her daughter knowing? Maybe she has a history of acting out on suicidal ideation and changing her mind, but didn’t want to be forced into a psychiatric hold? I’m telling you, this smells of more than Fabuloso.

  • Roq

    Are you sure the mother is not suicidal?

  • Amanda Lee

    The only way I could see this making any kind of sense is if they mixed the cleaning products in a water jug. I make coffee etc out of a water jug because where I used to live the city water smelled strongly of chlorine and I can’t get over it…. but isn’t fabuloso purple? Also, I mean they both smell pretty strong…

    • Siirenias

      Good point about bottled water, but what kind of taste buds must this woman have?

  • Celoptra

    Maybe the mother has deminta or something?

  • Isa Frostborn

    How would you not notice the smell of BLEACH and cleaning chemicals?

    • HiddenWindshield

      If they were cleaning the walls, then presumably the smell of bleach was everywhere.

    • Anne

      The purple dye would be more obvious than the cleaning chemicals. Probably.

      • Scott O

        It isn’t all purple, it comes in a lot of colors, including clear.
        And it’s not opaque, so diluted it probably looks quite clear regardless of the color.

  • Lady Lockeout

    I use bleach and fabuloso at work. I cry bullshit that the woman didn’t know it was some sort of chemical. You can’t miss that reek, especially up close and ESPECIALLY not if it’s heated up.

    • Cyberjar88

      The red Fabuloso is even worse. It smells like Hawaiian Punch!

  • Souless night

    Brain Is thicker than water.

  • Christine Wood

    Nooooo don’t drink strange liquids found in random buckets. Eww.

  • Richard Da Bunny

    This makes no sense. Apart from all that is wrong with this, how would coffee made with bleach be anything other than disgusting?

    • Scott O

      Unknown since I’ve never tried it.
      Frankly I can’t stand coffee, so I don’t see how mixing in bleach and soap would make it any worse, but I don’t think it would improve it either.

  • Bethany Lieflijk

    There are chemicals in bleach that make you want to drink it again, apparently.

  • Cyberjar88

    Apparently, brand names are now allowed here on NAR…

    • Kathy B

      The last line wouldn’t have made sense without it.

  • AliceInWeirdoLand

    This woman is terminally stupid.

  • I had to read through this more than once (and do some Googling) to understand that this was an adult who made coffee out of bright purple cleaning solution she found in a labeled bucket under the kitchen sink.

    No. Just, no.

  • Katie Manning

    I don’t drink coffee so maybe I’m missing something, but… Would coffee not normally be made with tap water? Is it normal to keep jugs of water under the sink for making coffee with?