That Fish Didn’t Want To Go With Them

(I work at a very popular pet store. Our store closes at nine pm on weekdays and Saturdays. As a corporate policy, we are not allowed to tell people that we are closing or closed. The only time we can tell them that we are closing soon is if they specifically ask us when we close. This story takes place after nine pm.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yes, we’d like [fish #1] or [fish #2].”

Me: “Well, [fish #1] is…” *long explanation about how [fish #1] will get way too big for their tank and they’d only end up killing it* “So, I’d suggest [fish #2], or taking the night to sleep on it.”

Customer: “How about [fish #3]?”

Me: *internally screaming* “Sure, that would probably work.”

Customer: “Okay, but I want a very specific fish. Some of the fish in there look sickly.”

(This is not an uncommon or difficult request, but because of this fish’s swimming habits I have to take out all the decoration in the tank to find the proper one. Not a difficult task, just slightly irritating.)

Customer: “Wait a minute. That fish in the center hasn’t moved; can you check it to see if it’s alive?”

(This is not uncommon for this species of fish, as they are a fish that routinely stays in one place and eats algae off the glass or gravel.)

Me: “Sure.” *prods the fish very lightly, which will usually cause a slight reaction — no reaction* “Hmm, this one seems to be kind of stationary.”

Customer: *starts backing away from the tanks* “Nope. Nope, nope. That’s five dead fish; that’s a bad omen. Sorry for wasting your time, but we’ll just come in on another day.”

(As I was putting everything away, because I had to take out several materials in order to catch a fish, I saw that when bothered by a water current, that little fish at the bottom was actually moving. Apparently, the fish are on OUR side!)