Ten Minutes To Design, Five Minutes To FREAK OUT

I’m a graphic design contractor for a large government agency. I’m the only contractor on my floor, and I’m also the only “arty person” as they call me. One morning at about 8:27, a client walks into my cube.

Client: “G’morning. I was wondering if you could help me with a graphic I need for this presentation.”

Me: “Not a problem. I’m actually just finishing up a few things this morning and can jump right on it. What are we doing?”

Client: “It’s actually really simple…”

She goes on to describe what is actually a pretty simple graphic, and by simple, I mean four to six hours of work but easily doable by the next day.

Me: “I like it. That’ll be really fun, and I definitely see what you mean about it tying the presentation together.”

Client: “Oh, good. I knew you could help! I was so panicked when they gave me this for the staff meeting today.”

Me: “Wait. The staff meeting today?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “The one at 9:00?”

Client: “Yes?”

Me: “The 9:00 in eighteen minutes?”

Client: “Yes. It’s a really simple graphic.”

Me: “There is no such thing as a fifteen-minute custom graphic!”

Client: “But I explained it; it’s really simple. Give me the fifteen-minute version.”

Me: “I don’t want anyone here seeing a product coming from my desk that I only had fifteen minutes to do.”

Client: “No one will know I got it from you!”

Me: “I’m the only graphics person here!”

Client: “But I’m really over the barrel here! Can you please help me out?”

Me: “I’ll see what I can pull off. Please get out of my cube and come back in fourteen minutes.”

Client: “I’d really like to stay and watch.”

Me: “No. Get out, and come back in thirteen minutes.”

It was awful. But what was worse: she loved it.

She has done this to me two more times. I have now officially told her that no matter how simple her request is, I will not help her without forty-eight hours of notice before her presentation.