Tamp-on, Brains Off

I’m a customer on a grocery run for my girlfriend and me. She’s been sick for a while and is low on supplies. I spot a female employee near the feminine hygiene section and ask her for help, showing her my shopping list.

Me: “Hi. I need this brand and type of tampon specifically. I think I might be able to find it, but hopefully, you can help me not get the wrong thing entirely which is possible if I’m left on my own with this.”

Employee: “Bless your heart. I’ll help you.”

She leads me to the item.

Me: “Thanks so much. I must seem like such a typically hopeless boyfriend.”

Employee: “Hey, some of these guys I get aren’t even capable of saying the word ‘tampon’, like it’s a dirty word or something.”

Me: “Oh, wow. I guess I’m not so bad, then.”

Employee: “And then there was that one guy who didn’t understand why his girlfriend stopped getting her period when she was pregnant because ‘obviously the baby comes out of the belly button’.”

Me: “…”

Employee: “Yeah… we’ve seen things…”