(A friend and I are checking out a pizza place we haven’t been before. The cashier sees us looking at the menu and comes over.)

Friend: “We’re just looking. She—” *indicating me* “—can’t eat any wheat so we’re not expecting anything.”

Cashier: “Well, we have vegetarian options.”

Friend: “No, no. WHEAT, not meat.”

Cashier: “Oh! Then you should be fine then. We don’t have any of that!”

(My friend and I stare at each other a moment, a bit flabbergasted.)

Me: “Like wheat flour…”

Cashier: *looks a bit clueless before turning to peer back at the kitchen and calling to the cook* “What kind of flour do we use? Does it have wheat in it?”

Cook: *stares at her in disbelief a moment before turning to me* “It’s regular white flour.”

Cashier: *all smiles as she turns back to me* “Then you should be fine!”

Me: “…Thank you.”

(My friend and I turn and start to leave.)

Friend: “…Did that really just happen? How do you get to be an adult and not know what flour is made of?!”

(My family has been regulars at our local pizza place, ordering from them at least once a week for more than 14 years. My mom is on her way home with money to pay, but as there is a toddler in the house, we don’t wait to order and the pizza arrives before the money does. The driver is the one who usually delivers and gives us the food, telling us that he can come back later. This is what he told me when he came back.)

Driver: “Don’t ever worry about taking the food. You guys order like twice a week and I know where you live in case I ever have to come shake you down.”

(I’m throwing myself in for this one. I call in an order to a local pizza shop. They have a family special which gets you a large pizza and twenty wings. I also work at a chain pizza shop.)

Employee: “[Pizza Place], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like the family special, please. Pizza just cheese, honey barbecue for the wings, and then another order of ten hot wings, extra saucy.”

Employee: “Okay, so the family special, cheese for the pizza, honey barbecue wings, and ten hot wings?”

Me: “Yeah. Anything else?”

Employee: “Wait, what?”

(We both pause, then immediately crack up laughing. I have just asked the woman taking my order if she wanted anything else.)

Me: *through my laughter* “Oh, my god, I’m so embarrassed! I work at a different pizza place and that was just habit!”

(I am 13 years old. My family and I are out to dinner in a popular pizza restaurant, owned by two feuding sisters. My mother is counting each table as it being served, and notices in the kitchen when our pizza is coming out. We can see through the windows in the kitchen doors, one labeled ‘In’ and the other ‘Out’)

Mother: “Oh, here comes our pizza now!”

(Just as she says this, the two sisters, one walking out with our pizza, and the other entering through the “Out” door, crash into each other, sending our pizza to the floor.)

Sister #1: “Look what you did! You made me drop their pizza!”

Sister #2: “Me?! You were walking through the wrong door!”

(The two sisters start arguing in Italian, and later Sister #1 comes over to our table to apologize.)

Sister #1: “I’m very sorry about this. We will make you a fresh new pizza, on the house for your troubles.”

Mother: “Hey, I’d have paid double if I had known we’d be getting dinner and a show!”

(I order a cranberry, chicken, and camembert pizza online from a fast food pizza place nearby. When the pizza is received the ‘sliced roast chicken breast’ is bright red, not white, and is clearly covered in some sort of spicy coating. I call up to query this and get this issue resolved.)

Worker: “Welcome to [Company]! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I just purchased a cranberry, chicken ,and camembert pizza online and when I received it I noticed the chicken is bright red and seems to be coated in peri peri or cajun or something. Is this the normal chicken that is supposed to be on the pizza?”

Worker: “No, the chicken is supposed to be sliced roast chicken breast. However, we are out of this so just changed it to cajun chicken instead.”

Me: “If you are out of the proper chicken why didn’t you call me to make sure that the replacement option is ok? I may not be allergic to spices but if this was served unknowingly to someone who was this could be incredibly dangerous!”

Worker: “It would be okay if the person was allergic to spices. The cajun chicken doesn’t have spices on it. It’s just cut from another part of the chicken!”

Me: “…It’s bright red… I’m not aware of any part of the chicken that is naturally bright red… I’m not sure what kind of chicken you have been eating but chicken is called white meat for a reason. If bright red natural chicken is normal for your store, you may want to locate a new supplier for your chicken.”