(I order a mushroom calzone with no pesto. When I get my order it has pesto on it, so I take it back up to the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me, I ordered this with no pesto.”

Employee: “Sorry, the mushrooms come canned in a pesto sauce.We can’t make one without the other.”

Me: “I specifically asked if it could me made without pesto when I ordered it and [Other Employee] said yes. Can I at least get something else?”

Employee: “We don’t do returns. You’re just going to have to eat it.”

Me: “No, I’m allergic to nuts. This could literally kill me.”

Employee: “Well, sorry, but—”

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

(I explain the situation to him, and he not only refunds me but he also gives me a slice of cheese pizza for free.)

Manager: “Sorry for almost killing you!”

(I am working late shift at the pizza shop, washing dishes in the back when I hear some food fall out of the oven. The oven is a constant conveyer belt. The customer who the food is meant for walks in.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Pizza Shop]. I’m sorry, sir, but we have to remake your item, because we accidentally let it drop. It will take about ten minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s fine, then.”

(I go about taking the rest of the items out while I wait for my manager to remake the item. My manager walks in and proceeds to pick the food off the floor and try to put it in the box.)

Me: “Hold on, you can’t do that! It’s been in the floor!”

Manager: “So what? We do this all the time!”

Me: “I don’t care; I’m not letting you give that to the customer!”

Manager: “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I’M THE MANAGER!”

(We got into an argument right in front of the customer, who pretended not to notice, which I won when my manager remade the item and I pointedly threw the old one away.)

(I’ve ordered pizza online, and selected to pay cash. I live in Australia, where tipping is not expected, ever. Correct change is also usually appreciated. Normally if I don’t have the right change, I will let the driver keep the difference. However, on this occasion I literally only have exactly the amount required.)

Delivery Man: “That’s $24.85.”

Me: *counting the money into his hand* “Here you go! $20, $4, and 85c.”

Delivery Man: *face visibly changes from pleasant to angry*

Me: “Thank you!”

Delivery Man: “…”

Me: “…Um, good night!”

Delivery Man: “…”

Me: “…”

Delivery Man: “FINE.” *storms off*

Me: “I think I’ll pay online from now on…”

(I work in a pizzeria as a take-out girl, meaning I take phone calls for customers and input what they want into the computer. I’m in the middle of an order.)

Customer: “I’d like two extra large pizzas, one with pepperoni and cheese, and one with pepperoni, cheese, onions and bacon.”

Me: “Okay! That’ll be [price].”

(We don’t count cheese as a topping you have to pay for unless you get double cheese… so two toppings and cheese is the standard price on the menu and anything after that is extra.)

Customer: “No! You charged it wrong. It should be [standard price].”

Me: “Well… you got three items on the second pizza… and—”

Customer: “and… I only got one topping on the first one! I should get [standard price]!”

Me: “It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “It should! Get me you manager!”

Me: “All right…”

(I put my manager on the phone, after five minutes of explaining he hangs up.)

Me: “How’d it go, [Manager]?”

Manager: “Well… apparently we’re all stupid scam artists who make terrible pizza… She said to either give her the price or hang up. Guess which I picked?”

(It is about a half hour from closing when the phone rings. If you want to pay for delivery with a card, you have to do it over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Delivery, please.”

(We go through the normal ordering process of phone number, address, what she actually wants; when we get to the payment.)

Customer: “Yeah, I like, want to charge it.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your card number whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s [Number].”

Me: “Expiration date?”

Customer: “October 2014.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s coming up declined. Let’s try the number again.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Okaaay, it’s 4… 2… 3…”

(She’s saying each number slowly and dramatically, as if I processed it wrong because I’m stupid. I’m a bit disgruntled until the next part happens.)

Me: “And for the expiration, I have ten-fourteen?”

Customer: “No, October. Like, eleven-fourteen.”

Me: “Okay, I think I see the problem here. You’re all set and it’ll be about forty minutes. Have a great night.”